Wise men
A man on the television is lying in bed with his wife recounting the day he had at work. "I told my coworker not to worry," he says, "because with age comes experience. And with experience comes wisdom."
"What comes with wisdom?" his wife asks him. And both Jon and I let out an exaggerated moan when the man says, "You!"
"That's so lame," I say. "I was hoping that with wisdom comes great hair."
"Really?" says Jon. "Because I happen to know that with wisdom comes a really big schlong."
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FM Living
Vicky said:
I want to be a wise man! :)
05.09.06 - 11:45 AM / 1Jenorama said:
Dammit, what show was that? That is going to keep me up tonight.
05.09.06 - 11:45 AM / 2Strizz said:
Why can't wisdom come with multiple orgasms and a maid?
05.09.06 - 11:45 AM / 3JessicaP said:
I thought with wisdom came big knockers?
05.09.06 - 11:48 AM / 4kbloeser said:
I didn't groan when I heard this, I got confused. Of course I'm often mesmerized by his beautiful hair...Oh broke Tim Roth (Jake Weber), how I love you!
05.09.06 - 11:49 AM / 5blazingkate said:
I was hoping wisdom came with a boatload of chocolate and the metabolism of a hummingbird.
05.09.06 - 11:53 AM / 6GEORGE! said:
I'm with Jessica... knockers.
05.09.06 - 11:55 AM / 7MelanieB78 said:
The show was Medium.
05.09.06 - 11:56 AM / 8Caloden said:
I had a brilliant comment but after I misread #6, I kept envisioning a boatload of chocolate hummingbirds and the wisdom they provided.
05.09.06 - 11:57 AM / 9Bird Lover said:
It's true, wisdom does come with a big schlong. If only in the mind of the person who acquired the wisdom. Perception is reality after all.
05.09.06 - 11:59 AM / 10Ohsalita said:
You and Jon should write dialogue for TV shows. For HBO though, where you can say "schlong".
05.09.06 - 11:59 AM / 11Shana Banana said:
I wish for just once, with wisdom comes Edward Norton in a loin cloth, vaccuming with one hand while he feeds me grapes with the other. Maybe he has a cool penis that can hold a palm frond to fan me with.... All of those useless years of college would really pay off then. :)
05.09.06 - 12:00 PM / 12John said:
That wise woman must be really uncomfortable.
05.09.06 - 12:00 PM / 13Mack'sMom said:
With wisdom comes responsibililty; with responsibility comes too many damn things to do in a day....then you're tired and have no need for big knockers nor a massive schlong.
Don't tell my husband that though...he seems to think that just because you've been running all day you should still be up for a little schlong dance.
What was life like before Wisdom?
A whole lot of fun!!!
05.09.06 - 12:00 PM / 14vinsanity said:
Nay, I say.
Wisdom does not come with a really big schlong.
What it does give, however, is the ability to make it FEEL like it's really big.
05.09.06 - 12:07 PM / 15Tiggerlane said:
I should never read previous comments before typing.
After reading "comes" umpteen times, adding a "hummingbird" in there - and throwing in the "schlong dance," I'm afraid I've completely lost my train of thought...which was NOT naughty. And now is depraved.
Okay, start over: "A man on television is lying in bed with his wife..."
Nope...I'm screwed.
05.09.06 - 12:11 PM / 16jon deal said:
Thanks to Shana Bannana I now have an uncomfortable image of a penis and palm frond rooting around in my tiny brain.
Is the palm frond attached in some way? Like with twine or staples? Or does Edward Norton's magical schlong have the native ability to grasp objects? Like a penis with an opposable thumb.
05.09.06 - 12:17 PM / 17mamamiacanuck said:
OMG, I am killing myself laughing over these comments!
Mental note, folks: if wisdom comes with a big schlong, does that explain why guys are mostly clueless? ;-)
05.09.06 - 12:26 PM / 18mm said:
I know everyone else in my office thinks I am crazy! I laughed out loud at Heather's post, but each comment had me laughing harder and harder. Funny stuff!
05.09.06 - 12:26 PM / 19Pink*Kittens said:
*Uncontrollable laughter*
Brilliant post, Heather. Made me laugh for quite some time. I am hysterically tired, though, might have something to do with my reaction.
Either way, thanks for making me laugh.
With wisdom comes false teeth.
05.09.06 - 12:31 PM / 20Velma said:
Unfortunately, in my experience, wisdom comes with nose hair.
05.09.06 - 12:34 PM / 21Mack'sMom said:
things you can do with faulse teeth.....
05.09.06 - 12:35 PM / 22jes said:
What was the commercial for? Something Mormon, I think.
With wisdom comes sweaty goat balls.
05.09.06 - 12:35 PM / 23Mack'sMom said:
"With Wisdom Comes Sweaty Goat Balls!"
There's a T-shirt I'd be proud to wear!!!
Heather, you could really pay off the sewer re-build with that one!
05.09.06 - 12:38 PM / 24RzDrms said:
...with experience comes wisdom, with wisdom comes a really big schlong, and a really big schlong just plain comes.
05.09.06 - 12:40 PM / 25Mack'sMom said:
RzDrms....you made me a little flushed with that one!
05.09.06 - 12:42 PM / 26MegsNP said:
I think with wisdom comes a hangover...
05.09.06 - 12:44 PM / 27christy said:
Apparently Jon got the same email I did detailing how W!zzD*m M@ke Y#o B!gg$st PEYN!S!
Glad to see he put it to good use.
05.09.06 - 12:44 PM / 28Snickrsnack Katie said:
Why can't wisdom come with some big ta-ta's? I could use some big ta-ta's, and I think I am pretty wise. Dammit.
05.09.06 - 12:44 PM / 29momma 2 angels said:
Prince Charming! I love how a schlong makes itself heard.
05.09.06 - 12:49 PM / 30