Tomorrow morning I leave for Santa Clara to attend BlogHer Conference where hundreds of women will be gathering to talk of estrogen, progesterone, dilated cervixes, nipple cream, jumbo tampons, the color and consistency of their discharges, ovulation, the size of your penis, whether or not a hand job should include gratuitous rubbing of the balls or is it better just to stick with the up and down, and how many times has your kid walked in on you and your husband and wondered what all that wiggling was about?

I'd like to take this opportunity to assure all husbands and boyfriends (and girlfriends!) of those attending that you have nothing to worry about. Clothing will remain in the ON position, except of course when that one girl breaks out the bong and then we'll all just strip and examine one another philosophically. We promise that if someone decides to walk around topless that we we'll take pictures and post them to Flickr immediately.

This is going to be a brief and much needed break from the sleep schedules and food flinging and did I mention that Leta can now etch words in glass from four feet away? The sound she makes, it's like Björk inhaled helium laced with acid. I have a feeling that I will be doing a lot of talking in all caps this weekend and doing my personal interpretation of Tom Cruise.

Check back for updates (if I have time between panel discussions and group flask gulping) and possible pictures of topless bloghers.