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Begging for commentary

"Bershon is pretty much how you feel when you’re 13 and your parents make you wear a Christmas sweatshirt and then pose for a family picture, and you could not possibly summon one more ounce of disgust, but you’re also way too cool to really even DEAL with it, so you just make this face like you smelled something bad and sort of roll your eyes and seethe in a put-out manner." (quote from Sarah Brown, who can be seen feeling bershon here.)

Every photo of me from high school can be summed up in that one word, and I always have this look on my face that says I would so rather be studying for a test right now, and if I miss a question about the structure of a cell membrane and as a result don't get that full scholarship to college, you'll have to go to sleep every night knowing that you ruined my life with that stupid camera. Before you do that, though, let me move all 40 pounds of my hair around so that it's sitting in front of my left shoulder because it will definitely look better that way.

And also? The Second Coming? How awesome will it be?

08.22.2006 Nubbin comments closed

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  • JeniG said:

    As much as I love the hair, I think the frosted pink lipstick is my absolute favorite part.

    Incredible.

    08.22.06 - 12:52 PM / 1
  • Bekah said:

    I can't imagine how strong your neck muscles must be from carrying all that hair around.

    08.22.06 - 12:54 PM / 2
  • JeniG said:

    That and the awesome Mantle O' Jesus in the 2nd picture.

    Dude, your hair is TOTALLY getting you into heaven.

    08.22.06 - 12:55 PM / 3
  • Wendell77 said:

    Wow, 'tis a mane indeed! Isn't it nice that we can look back at the past and laugh? Well, at least about our fashion choices? Once again, love your site! Wendell

    08.22.06 - 12:55 PM / 4
  • san said:

    wow. i am so jealous. i wish the hair that you had back then :)

    08.22.06 - 12:57 PM / 5
  • beckyz said:

    Thank you, thank you for "Bershon"!!

    We all have photos like yours, shoulder pads and all. Now I finally can put a word to my crappy teenage attitude. Well, also put a word to my crappy 35 year-old attitude. :)

    08.22.06 - 12:59 PM / 6
  • kerri said:

    How did you wash! that hair? I groan and grumble when I have to spend anymore than ten minutes washing my hair.

    And I love how business-savvy you look in that second shot. Like "Don't bother me, I'm on my way to an important business meeting. Or you know, to meet Jesus."

    08.22.06 - 01:01 PM / 7
  • jon deal said:

    Speaking as an old balding, fat guy....

    That's a lot of hair. On a skinny person.

    And my 16 year old daughter makes that EXACT same face all the time. Cool.

    08.22.06 - 01:01 PM / 8
  • rivetergirl said:

    Damn sistah, did you ever worry that there was going to be a mutiny and your hair would overthrow the rest of your body?

    I totally see the second-coming enthusiasm in your left eye, right behind the contempt for those who don't know that Mormons rock.

    08.22.06 - 01:03 PM / 9
  • staceymay said:

    These pictures are priceless! All that hair totally explains why you like to keep it short now. Now can you show us your yearbook photos?

    08.22.06 - 01:07 PM / 10
  • jes said:

    Your hair is so long and gorgeous. Definitely protecting your chastity.

    And that pink blazer? I have a feeling that the Avon World Sales Leader picked that out JUST FOR YOU.

    08.22.06 - 01:09 PM / 11
  • Urs said:

    omg- you had the most gorgeous hair!!!

    08.22.06 - 01:11 PM / 12
  • Sally said:

    Remember in gym class, in the locker room, when they had us bend forward so they could examine our spines for scoliosis? (They probably don't do that now.) Well, the reason we HAD scoliosis was because of all that big hair.

    08.22.06 - 01:11 PM / 13
  • bellabugs_mom said:

    At least you didn't have the tall "bangs" that touched the roof of the car on the way to school each morning.

    If my house ever catches fire, I hope it takes those pics first...

    08.22.06 - 01:11 PM / 14
  • Molicious said:

    Damn you and your beautiful, shiny hair.

    08.22.06 - 01:12 PM / 15
  • Kate said:

    In the second picture, the book end to the left really looks like a guy getting a blow job. I really cannot figure out what it is. But nice shoulder pads.

    08.22.06 - 01:12 PM / 16
  • snooker11 said:

    your mom looks like Blanche form the Golden Girls. wow.

    08.22.06 - 01:12 PM / 17
  • Y said:

    I want to comment on the hair, I REALLY DO, but I can't get past the figurine in the left hand corner. WHAT IS GOING ON OVER THERE?

    08.22.06 - 01:12 PM / 18
  • Broch said:

    Hair looks great now, we've all had our bad hair days!

    08.22.06 - 01:15 PM / 19
  • Girl con queso said:

    Bershon + Hair = Almost as awesome as the second coming. Almost.

    08.22.06 - 01:17 PM / 20
  • whiterockgirl said:

    It was all about the space your hair occupied, wasn't it? You either spiked your hair to the ceiling or you grew it as long as you could. Did you use hair combs to keep it to the one side? And I bet your hair looked wicked in a banana clip too.

    08.22.06 - 01:18 PM / 21
  • dancingnancy said:

    Almost as awesome as the pink lipstick. The wavy hair, pink lipstick....did anyone honestly think that would come back to haunt us?

    08.22.06 - 01:20 PM / 22
  • biscuitninja said:

    oh man, i remember shoulder pads like that. who's design idea was that are were they blugeoned for it? i think that was a really odd fashion period. everything had shoulder pads.. even tshirts!!

    08.22.06 - 01:26 PM / 23
  • doctor tongue said:

    Yikes, that's a lot of hair! Maintained with the finest Avon products, no doubt.

    08.22.06 - 01:28 PM / 24
  • Caleb Holt said:

    You're killing me... seriously. I mean it. I'm laughing at work and my boss is going to come in and fire me. Then I'll be jobless and penniless and will have to scratch out a meager existance on the streets before hypothermia eventually strikes me down late one drizzly december evening.

    Do you want that on your hands?

    Also, new masthead nominee: "I'm got a degree in English"

    08.22.06 - 01:32 PM / 25
  • surivalmode.scribbler said:

    [Meryl Streep] + x = [Carrie Moss]

    Solve for x?

    What's your dad look like? (Sorry, just being curious.)

    08.22.06 - 01:32 PM / 26
  • hg said:

    Wow. That is some serious hair. And yes, the frosted pink lipstick completes the Avon look. Very nice.

    08.22.06 - 01:33 PM / 27
  • Wendy said:

    dude, that hair had to hurt. i'm surprised you don't have permanent damage from all that weight on one side.

    i mean, uh... FIRST!!!!!11111ONETHOUSANDELEVENTYBILLION!

    08.22.06 - 01:33 PM / 28
  • la_florecita said:

    If that lipstick IS Avon, I think I had the same one.

    Nice.

    08.22.06 - 01:34 PM / 29
  • moose said:

    I never thought I would applaud a large pastel blazer, but in a decade when most teenage girls are wearing baby t-shirts that show a good six inches of tummy, plus the two inches below the belly button where the jeans should be, but aren't (and did you get a bikini wax to wear those pants? because I didn't even know what a bikini wax was when I was your age), I say bring on the large pastel blazers!

    I also say hooray for run-on sentences.

    08.22.06 - 01:36 PM / 30
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