I'm currently at my mother's house where the connection to the Internet is intermittent and sketchy. It is cold here and windy, like Mars but with snow. I am surrounded by hundreds and hundreds of festive ceramic pigs and MY GOD THE SANTA CLAUSES. One Santa Claus is waving an American flag. Another one is smoking a pretty fat doobie. I don't think my mother realizes this. I might stash it and take it home with me. It won't be stealing; it'll be protecting my mother from the impurity.

Jon is in Denver with friends. I miss him. I hope he has overcome the hangover by the time he returns this afternoon. I am sorry he feels bad, but I am so glad IT WASN'T ME this time throwing up and walking in crooked lines.

Leta turned 10 months old on Friday. Newsletter coming soon, I PROMISE, FOR CYRING OUT LOUD. I just need to return to Earth where there is wireless Internet access and booze.