We did a terrible thing.

No, really.

I had promised myself that I would never give in to the vast commercial conspiracy that is Children's Toys, especially ones marketed to perpetuate fascination with television characters which in turn perpetuates fascination with toys in the likeness of those television characters, BUT YOU SHOULD HAVE SEEN HER FACE.

We bought Leta a noise-making, head-turning, belly-jiggling Zing Zing Zing Bah, one of the five pimpled and uncircumcised penises that are Boohbah. When you press its (his? her? BOTH?) hand it does this little dance and its pimpled penis head juts out of the foreskin to wobble around. It scares the holy living shit out of the dog.

But Leta... I guess it's because she is my own child, and I never knew that her display of utter joy and excitement could grab my heart so forcibly. When she saw it on the shelf at the toy store she almost passed out from flapping her arms and gulping for air. And then when she saw it on Christmas morning her face looked as if she had seen God and that she knew the Church was true.

How can something so wrong feel so right, I wish we didn’t have to keep our love out of sight, yeah.