“Dear” Heather,

I have been going through my daughters computer and I can tell from doing that she is a huge fan of you – whatever you are doing.

I don’t know who you are to be perfectly honest, but I am from Austria and I don’t think you even know what country that is.

So let my child alone! She is only 16 years old and has now applied to a school that teaches sex. Probably she wants to be like your website – sexy and totaly promiscuous. I can’t let this happen. The school is in itself a disgrace on the face of earth, probably you have something to do with this Aisos School of Sex.

I am sorry I got upset.

I can’t believe you would show a video of a cat jumping and falling in between an obvious high-rise building and not tell us if he/she’s okay. You’re a fucking bitch. I am never readiing your fucking blog again. YOu suck balls.

Man, every time I read anything about Dooce, I have this little refrain going through my head saying, “get a job get a job get a job get a job.” Assuming that she is regular depressed and not inpatient-needs depressed, a job would be so great for her. Maybe like 20 hours at a non-profit that she can really get behind? It would:

1) Give her a source of income that does not require her to continually mine her ever-shrinking personal life for daily content.
2) Introduce structure to her weeks.
3) Enable her to meet new people (who are old enough to reasonably consent to having her write about them).
4) Give her something interesting to write about again.

Paradoxically, the way to stay relevant/interesting is not to focus more energy on the blog but less.