For your mum

If anything just call her up and say, “I’m so sorry for everything.” She’ll know immediately who it is.

For her

Looking this over, I kind of wish my closet was this organized.

For him

I could always toss out the trademarked Holiday by Heather advice and tell you to hand him your credit card and hit the nearest mall. But what if he’s color blind? What if he gets lost? What if he brings back clogs?

Feeling Fall

From the thesaurus app: consolation, comfort, solace, freedom, liberation, deliverance, release.

Color me black

Somber, perhaps, but all in an effort to brighten things up.

The pattern on the inside of my brain

For those of us who are going to check just ONE MORE TIME to see if all the lights have been turned off.

Hankering

In the mood to turn down the saturation.

And then I adopted a leprechaun and named him Larry Mullen, Jr.

This shit is magically delicious.

For your lady

Seriously. Do not piss her off.