Beautiful contradictions

One tiny exchange that exemplifies what it is like to live with this kid.

Thou shalt not blog about thy daughter’s fifth grade class

When I get called into the principal’s office for this I will become yet another cautionary tale.

An educational holiday

For the child who will look at the word “blue” and say, “That spells ‘waffle with syrup.’”

Her Christmas present

Perhaps the most wonderful day of the year for this dog.

Second Christmases

There may be more Play-Doh paraphernalia under the tree tonight along with a giant bag of coal and a scrolling list of chores.

Christmas mascot

This ornament is going to make my friend Leah so goddamn happy. Better than a gif of a naked baby bear dancing to the Bee Gees.

Some people say there’s a golden light

Because I got really, really tired of explaining again and again that I do not get Minecraft, and no, I cannot help you.

Well, what do you know

This season of illness is so not fucking around.

Things to consider if you really are considering adopting a dog

Just because she can’t balance anything on her head doesn’t mean she’s completely useless.

My beat poet

This season has not been kind to my child in terms of illness, but she has so much content to pull from for her eventual award-winning collection of poetry.