The number of foods my kid will eat just increased to five

I cooked and they ate and a swarm of pigs flew over the house.

Sous-chef

You like apples? How about you wash these apples.

Paleo Slow Cooking

No, Paleolithic humans did not have slow cookers. I beat you to your zinger, TYRANT.

Grumpy baking happy fun times

Because wrestling a pig in a puddle of mud does not sound like fun to me.

Preparation (H)eather

I am the parental equivalent of the black jelly bean.