Old Man Jones

My new nickname for the poet who lives in the basement.

Stuff On Chuck

“When I tried to write happy / Yo I knew I lied, I lived a life of crime / Why play ya blind?”

Totes jealous

When he heard this news he took a huge shit right next to my bedroom door.

I won’t even get you started on his cuticles

Your angry email should have the words “dew claws” somewhere in the subject.

More from MWEDO

He should be glad that I didn’t buy any nipple rings during my travels.

Brother from another mother

If Mormons did genealogy on dogs they’d trace Chuck back to Tanzania. And then have him baptized in the name of his ancestors.

All the way from the north-central area of Tanzania

He knew this would happen when he saw what I’d brought the girls from Africa.

Lil Kit

This cat may never enjoy a name of its own except in my household where pictures of it are a high commodity.

Elastic and creaseless

Taming all his luscious locks is not as easy as you might think.

Mama bear

Where there are no fences or cat doors or off-leash parks.