For your man

I know he’s begging for another cat, but you are the voice of reason in his life. None of these things require a litter box.

For your lady

Stun her with a bracelet or a monogramed jewelry box or a purse or, you know, let her cry without asking if she’s taken her medication or if she’s on her period.

For the kids

I suddenly looked up and, oh. Christmas is next week. Next week. Or, as Leta puts it, THE FARTHEST AWAY ANYTHING HAS EVER BEEN!

Father’s Day, budget and splurge

Options for children of both the Silas Marners and Robert Crawleys of the world.

For your dude

Ideas other than that really fancy engagement ring he keeps asking for.

For your lady

Seriously. Do not piss her off.

Last minute ideas

For the procrastinators up in here.

For him

Normally I’d suggest you tell the guy in your life to go to the Apple store or REI or some electronics store and just pick something out already.

For her

A combination of super practical and super fun.

For the Kids

I thought about getting them both socks for Christmas, but even I am not that mean. A collection of other ideas.