Babble incessantly and ever so loudly as Grandpa says the prayer over dinner. Our Master Plan, it’s WORKING!
As part of telling me how to do my hair, ask me how many Queer Eye for the Straight Guy episodes that we’ve watched and then tell me that you “endorse” Kyan because I’m straight and can’t do my hair to save my life. [Guest Entry by Jon, the dj blurb, who doesn't have a [...]
In the middle of our phone conversation say, “By the way, I’m hiding from the kids in the downstairs bathroom. That’s why you hear an echo.”
Send me an email that contains the line, “We could easily do this when we build out the downstairs chillimax zone,” and includes links to several hardware and software packages that ONLY GEEKS LIKE US could appreciate. I love living with my best friend.
Introduce me to spicy buffalo wings, and by introduce I mean watch me eat 25 of them in less than three minutes. Oh, divine buffalo wing, where hast thou been lo these 29 years?
Forgive me for punching you in the nads. I honestly didn’t think I would connect!
Cry as Grandmommie takes you from my arms and puts you in her car. YOU LOVE ME. YOU REALLY DO.
Snarf up every Cheerio Leta throws out of her high-chair so that I don’t have to go around searching for lost Cheerios, you good, good dog. More pizza for you!
Just go ahead and nod your head when in a bourbon-induced delusion I try to convince you with much authority that the word “acapetta” has anything to do with music or singing.
Point out that since I worked out in my pajamas, I didn’t actually remain in my pajamas all day. I remained in my work out clothes all day.