Totes amazeballs

Allow Sarah to be a cranky person on the internet and share her personal least favorite words and phrases.

On having a little more insight into John Travolta

The acceptance speech I would have given, although the orchestra would have probably cut me off and flipped me the bird.

Thirteen years

To commemorate the fact that my website is in the throes of puberty and regularly defying curfew.

Far better than quarterly taxes, I can assure you

Thank you for firing me in 2002, mobile phone software company. Because of that I get to do things like this today. And hey, Joe Bose. If you’re still reading, I owe you an email.

I’m putting “vibrator” in this title so that it shows up in my twitter feed again

In case you didn’t know, you will one day stand before God and he has taken detailed notes about your social media habits.

In the pink of condition

Inspired by my second born’s favorite color.

Color me black

Somber, perhaps, but all in an effort to brighten things up.

I’m about to get hashtagged

A gentle reminder that you need to get reacquainted with your friendly postal carrier.

One instance in which the future looks exactly like it was supposed to

Nearing the maximum of my cellular data plan and one very good reason to buy a bigger one.

In celebration of snail mail

To get you reacquainted with your friendly postal carrier.