Yesterday she took the Lord’s name in vain. In the proper context. That was a text I didn’t forward to my mother.
I know it’s not as cold as it is in Minnesota, CAROL. But winter is over a month away and this weather is bullshit.
If you need a place to hide a dead body, I’m sure I won’t be raking this giant sea of leaves for at least another week.
If anyone has a kid who is working on a leaf collection, I might have one or two lying around.
Now that I think about it, I’m not sure if I had to insert a single modesty patch this summer.
The hills are now in Technicolor.
I wonder how many of us will now have this stuck in our heads for the rest of the day.
Wherein I explain the different feelings you have toward children and dogs.
What? I know I wear my pink tutu whenever I’m raking leaves.
Next Halloween she’s going as Oscar the Grouch.