Here’s where my mom brings up the apples and peanut butter
It should surprise no one who has read this site for any length of time that my older child does not like food. It started when she was eighteen months old with a three-day hunger strike and continues to this day: she won’t eat bread, certain kinds of pizza, or cake. Don’t even bring up [...]
In the scheme of things
Jon: “Leta, it’s an orange, not a poisonous snake. Just open your mouth and taste it.” Leta: “BUT I HATE ORANGES!” Jon: “Have you ever tried one?” Leta: “No, BUT I KNOW I HATE THEM.” Jon: “It won’t hurt you to at least try a small bite.” Leta: “UUUGGGHHHH!” Me: “Okay, this is ridiculous. Leta, [...]
All she wants for Christmas
Last night my oldest child lost her first tooth. I’m not sure Christmas is going to live up to the celebration that occurred when it happened, not unless we have Cinderella arrive on the back of a flying unicorn carrying a bag stuffed with four tons of chocolate ice cream. And even then that princess [...]
Surveillance
I should probably be more embarrassed than I actually am to admit this, but we didn’t stop using a baby monitor with Leta until she was almost five years old. And even then we only stopped because her twin cousins had come over, spotted it next to her bed, picked it up and began shouting, [...]
The audible eye roll
Yesterday Leta had a play date, and while she and her friend were snacking in the kitchen I was in an adjacent room sorting through some mail. I heard them start to tell each other knock knock jokes, the ones that have been passed down for generations, like the one about the banana, and then [...]
On the drive to school this morning
Leta: Who’s going to pick me up from school? Me: My butt. Leta: MOM! THAT’S NOT FUNNY! Me: Why is my butt not funny? Leta: IT JUST ISN’T! Me: Leta, pretend you’re a boy for, say, two minutes. Then it might be funny. Leta: Can you just answer my question? Me: My butt can. Leta: [...]
The good news
For those of you who heard the squeals of joy yesterday, it’s because pizza was on the menu in the cafeteria. PIZZA. Kind of like The Lord and Savior Jesus Christ, except a little less religious and totally edible. MOM. DID YOU KNOW THERE IS PIZZA ON THE MENU. MOM. MOM. MOM. That’s what I [...]
Order Araneae, Class Arachnida
Me: “Oh my god, it’s 7:10! How did we sleep in so late?! Where’s Leta? Is the baby still alive?” Jon, awake and calmly reading the news on his iPad at the other side of the bed: “Everything’s fine. The baby is still asleep. I think I heard Leta get up and turn on the [...]
The older child
So Bobo has the chicken pox. It’s not nearly as bad as it sounds, meaning it’s only a very mild case, a side effect from the chicken pox vaccine that only five percent of kids suffer from. Both of my kids were in that five percent. But, OF COURSE THEY WERE. What would this blog [...]
Another conversation about BYU in the car
Leta: Mom, where did you meet Daddy? Me: I met him when I was in college. About thirteen years ago. Leta: Was he in college, too? Me (secretly hoping she doesn’t ask where we went to college): Yes. Leta: Where did you go to college? Me (almost inaudibly): BYU. Leta: Where? Me: BYU. WE WENT [...]
