Punch Drunk

Every television or radio journalist from Dan Rather on down should have the word “flotilla” striken from their vocabularies. Every corporate employee within earshot of any other living, breathing fellow employee should have the word “genericize” scribbled on a chalky piece of paper and shoved down their throats. Every indie music critic who uses the [...]

Pack the Flask

Things to remember before I embark on a weekend jaunt to Utah to mingle with Mormons and relatives with missing teeth: Steer clear of Aunt Lola. Granny will fall sleep on the toilet. Use the one in the basement. The three year old nephew will announce to everyone his inconvenient state of poopiness. Aunt Lola [...]

Reasons I Should Not be Allowed to Work From Home

Too many cushiony horizontal surfaces prime for nappage. 13 bowls of cereal today, all within a two hour period. Oprah. Total Request Live. Horizontal surfaces. Rabid Naked IMing� Shower? Why? Porn. Have you seen my couch and it’s lovely horizontal surface? That box of Wheaties is GONE. Passions. The nap after Passions. Too much time [...]