Dirge Diggler

When I look out the window of my boss’s office, which I can see through one of the translucent panes of my cubicle sitting 30 feet away, I see the smoky silhouette of the Santa Monica Mountains bleeding an ocean of headlights they call the 405. Los Angeles is experiencing weather this evening. Local meteorologists [...]

How About I Take That Ticket and Shove It Up Your Ass

On a small stretch of the Pacific Coast Highway between the Pacific Palisades and the Santa Monica Pier, a lone Patrolman straddled a marked motorcycle, smiling in sinister merriment as unsuspecting commuters flew through a 45mph reduced speed zone. He couldn’t wait to catch the next evil-doing law-breaker, and so his swollen wrists trembled eagerly [...]

Disasters of the Natural Variety

Yesterday morning at approximately 9:30 am PST, a smallish rumbling earthquake hit Los Angeles and woke me from a drooling slumber. It was the first earthquake I’ve ever been awake or sober enough to experience, and like any other natural disaster frightened me into rabid cable news channel surfing and knuckle gnawing for the rest [...]

You Are Listening to Los Angeles

I’ve noticed an abundance of autumn-related imagery and sentiment among webloggers and clothing outlets lately, tributes to “the favorite season of the year” or “the perfect excuse to break out the otherwise useless and fashionably-offensive Ugg Boots.” Fall is in the air, as it were, and the rest of the country outside of Los Angeles, [...]

Sham Francisco

On what turned out to be a record-breaking scorcher in the San Francisco Bay Area, my New Trusty Rommate and I loaded over 4 pages of Ikea catalog shelving solutions into the back of an oversized Ryder truck. Several HATTEN side tables, OPPLI TV units, and KUSK storage combinations filled the 15 foot yellow behemoth [...]

Garage Sale

Saturday morning, 7:30 am. A rare fog suffocates the tiny district of LA known as “Little Israel,” nestled between Fairfax and La Brea just south of Melrose Avenue. Our mission: to get rid of as much junk as possible in the smallest amount of time, which could prove challenging as almost every article of junk [...]

Kicking, Squealing Gucci Little Piggy

Saturday morning at the end of a 40 minute stair-running workout in Santa Monica, I almost participated in my first live girl-on-girl cat fight. I had run 12 sets of 150 stairs, most of them taken two at a time, and the stench of wet bodies and morning fog enfolded me like a curling swath [...]