Newsletter: Month Twenty-seven
Dear Leta, Yesterday you turned twenty-seven months old. I cannot even begin to tell you what an amazing month this has been, by far one of my favorites. It’s been so good that I haven’t wanted it to end much like those days when you are in such a great mood we have a hard [...]
Newsletter: Month Twenty-six
Dear Leta, Yesterday you turned twenty-six months old. I would characterize the last month of your life as That One Time You Refused To Eat Anything, with [One Time] being a variable X where X = [Every Single Day]. We have come to realize that food is an area in your life where you are [...]
Newsletter: Month Twenty-five
Dear Leta, A few days ago you turned two years and one month old. People ask me all the time how long I plan to continue writing these monthly updates to you, and to tell you the truth I have no idea. When I started doing this I thought I’d just do it through your [...]
Newsletter: Month Twenty-four
Dear Leta, Happy birthday number two! To celebrate we gave you an enema! I can’t think of a more appropriate way to celebrate a birthday in the Armstrong Family except for maybe a colonoscopy. We thought we had cured your constipation a few months ago when we reduced the amount of milk in your diet, [...]
Newsletter: Month Twenty-three
Dear Leta, Today you turn twenty-three months old. Over the weekend we watched a few hours of home videos we’ve taken over the last couple of years, and I think you’ve finally found something you love more than Elmo: yourself. Any time you watched yourself perform something extraordinary, like a front flip in bed or [...]
Newsletter: Month Twenty-two
Dear Leta, Over the weekend you turned twenty-two months old. If I could give you any useful advice this month it would be to choose a partner in life who isn’t afraid to say FART out loud. Life is too short to be uptight about something so small, and I doubt anyone who would overreact [...]
Newsletter: Month Twenty-one
Dear Leta, Today you turn 21 months old. To celebrate we filled a shot glass with apple juice and let you slam it back. Not really, but what I would give to be in the room when my mother reads that. It’s my way of getting back at her for teaching you how to fold [...]
Newsletter: Month Twenty
Dear Leta, Today you turn twenty months old, and yet, you still haven’t learned how to fix Mama a hot dog. This is a total rip-off. Also, I thought I’d let you know that you’re not allowed to drive a car until you can walk. You’re cutting it pretty close, kid. This past week you [...]
Newsletter: Month Nineteen
Dear Leta, Tomorrow you turn nineteen months old and I would have written this tomorrow but we’re going to be holed up in a cabin near Bear Lake in northern Utah with your father’s side of the family, and let’s face it. Those people are crazy. Yes, my side of the family is insane, but [...]
Newsletter: Month Eighteen
Dear Leta, Today you turn 18 months old. Did you know that all I ever wanted was a baby who would snuggle with me and grow up to be a forward on a professional basketball team? This month, YOU’VE STARTED SNUGGLING! One goal down, only one more to go. This whole living-out-my-fantasies-through-you privilege is working [...]
