At Least I’m Not Nauseous!

When Jon and I went to the doctor early last week we learned that my belly had grown over three inches in less than two weeks. It was encouraging news, as my belly has measured below average for most of my pregnancy, and it seems that this child has decided to save all her weight [...]

The Point at which Every Post is Going to be a Post Where I Freak Out About This Pregnancy

I have officially entered my 37th week of pregnancy, which means that I have passed the landmark 36th week, the week after which they say the baby can make a safe appearance at any time. I thought that when I finally got to this point that I would feel calm and peaceful with what is [...]

Obligatory Reflections on The Year of The Belly

Best Day of 2003: Wednesday, May 28, the day we found out I was pregnant. We’d bought a pregnancy test and were holding on to it, trying to wait long enough to use it after my missed period to ensure an accurate reading. And we were going to try and wait seven days, but about [...]

35 Weeks, Photo Collection: White Out

The morning after Christmas Jon and I woke to over a foot of snow on the ground and to a house with a temperature hovering at about 52 degrees. Salt Lake City was in the beginning stages of a snow dump that would last almost two straight days and leave nearly 90,000 people without power. [...]


Number of pregnant, stress pimples that have sprouted on my forehead since Friday night: 4 Description of alien being trying to escape those pregnant, stress pimples: green, scaly, with an amphibious disposition Number of 50W halogen spot lights we installed in the kitchen ceiling yesterday: 8 Number of lights after which I wanted to give [...]

Is it my imagination or have I finally found something worth living for?

About two and a half years ago when Jon first moved into my tiny apartment in LA we began consuming alcohol and coffee in very large quantities on a very daily basis. I don’t think either of us had been very big alcohol or coffee drinkers up until that point — I hadn’t so much [...]

Things in the Past Week That Have Brought Me to Uncontrollable, Blubbering Tears

The finely orchestrated piece of crap otherwise known as the finale to “Joe Millionaire.” The look on my dog’s face when I took away his bone last night. The delicate beauty of a Reese’s Peanut Butter Cup. The moment we realized that the bed sheet we bought at Target was too small to fit the [...]

Hester Prynne

This morning I woke up only to find that I had outgrown yet another piece of clothing, a pair of pants I bought three months ago that was four sizes bigger than the pants in my non-pregnant wardrobe. This leaves me with exactly four items of clothing that I can actually wear, including a pair [...]

The Hemorrhoid That Ate Manhattan

Over the past six and a half months I have been keeping a written record of my pregnancy on this website in the hopes that I will have a better idea of what is going to happen to my body when I go through pregnancy a second or third or God forbid ninth time. Hearing [...]

Belly Button Watch 2K3

In a matter of days, if not hours, the little indentation in the middle of my belly is going to erupt in a volcanic burst of nubbly flesh, and all at once I will be sporting the dreaded pregnant belly button. I’m not dissing outie belly buttons when I say that I am completely horrified [...]