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Alas, my hometown people. I am probably related to some of these specimens: “Attorney meets the ‘jury pool from hell’”

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Ode to My Winter Coat “But today, by the reading on the thermometer It was cold enough for me to burrow into your entrails Just like Han Solo and Luke Skywalker burrowed into the entrails of that giant thing they killed in that one Star Wars movie. The Empire Strikes Back, I believe it was.”

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Yeah I voted the shit out of that vote this morning. Took me forever to find a parking spot over by the magnet school, and here’s me, unsuccessfully trying to parallel park: “I’m being fucking disenfranchised over here!” This place sported the old-school switch-n-lever booths, which were new to me. In the past I’d either [...]

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One of the reasons I love him so much is because he really wants others to be happy: “In our lifetime, people have died for freedom, whether we want to see it as such or not. When people died in New York, in Washington and Pennsylvania, they died because they live in a free country. [...]

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My interview with Leah Peah where I talk about Jon’s other six wives and strike a pose in the mirror that says, “It’s been days since I pooped.”

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Moore! Moore! Moore! The college has received a steady stream of complaints from across the nation, from a grandfather vowing he won’t come to his grandson’s graduation to an employer swearing to never again hire a UVSC graduate. Many parents and alumni have expressed disgust that the college is using student fees to pay Moore [...]

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“Brigham Young University was ranked the top stone-cold sober school, the survey found.” (thanks Robin)

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(WARNING THE FOLLOWING FRACTION IS MAYBE THE SCARIEST PART OF ALL)

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“We’re doing a thing that normally results in a baby, but in this case only leads to severe chafing and lifelong nightmares of being chased by a giant pink wolf through a swamp.”

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In New York, everybody was just as weird as me, and it didn’t stop them from inventing and being creative and changing the world.