For your dad

A roundup of ideas for the father who probably isn’t 73 years old and would rather write a letter in his own blood than spend $45 on a pen.

For your mum

If anything just call her up and say, “I’m so sorry for everything.” She’ll know immediately who it is.

Feeling like the final scene in Grease

I wouldn’t necessarily paint a room this color, but a few accents might work just as well as a few tablets of Prozac.

For your man

I know he’s begging for another cat, but you are the voice of reason in his life. None of these things require a litter box.

For your lady

Stun her with a bracelet or a monogramed jewelry box or a purse or, you know, let her cry without asking if she’s taken her medication or if she’s on her period.

Winter blues

Because of my eyes, because of Marlo’s eyes, because of the ocean, because of the sky.

For her

Looking this over, I kind of wish my closet was this organized.

Feeling Fall

From the thesaurus app: consolation, comfort, solace, freedom, liberation, deliverance, release.

For your lady

Seriously. Do not piss her off.

Hidden is our stash of gay porn

A month ago I was the winning bidder for a mid-century modern dresser that I had found on ebay, and last week it was finally delivered. This is only the third thing I have ever bought on ebay, and the only piece of furniture. The first thing I bought was a pair of tickets to [...]