This here bringer of the pooper to the fun party

A Brief History of Heather’s Hair

In the spring of 1980 at the tender age of 5, I made a bargain with my mother that would unknowingly incur thousands of dollars in psychotherapy bills: if I could go one week without crying at kindergarten, my mom would cut my hair, a…

December 5, 2001

Thinking

The only actor worth $20 million a film is Britney, and it had better damn well be porn.

Listening

BRMC: Black Rebel Motorcycle Club

Enjoying

Odd Todd

How to Charm Me

Share in my horror as we stare at an empty box of kosher salt.

How to Annoy Me

Keep complaining about how someone stole your identity and signed up for a Discover Card. At least they didn’t steal your sexual identity.