An unfiltered fire hose of flaming condemnation


So this is what being engaged feels like.

February 6, 2002


Maybe it’s the way she talks with her hands. I know it’s not that she talks with her hands, but more how she moves them, the way she tries to explain everything with swooping bony fingers. I’m the last person who should be saying, hey,…


Dealership: TV Highway to the Stars



How to Charm Me

Blame the crumbs I found in the bed on Cookie Monster.

How to Annoy Me

Take the last Diet Coke and then stick your tongue out at me. Don’t be surprised when you wake up one morning and that tongue is gone.