Best way to roast the broomstick. Must try. Five Stars.

A Bug’s Short Life

I swallowed a bug this morning. The bug wasn’t a particularly large bug, perhaps the size of a gnat or a tick, but I’m pretty sure the bug was neither a gnat nor a tick. The consistency was far more chewy than that of either…

March 8, 2002


My God, I’ve grown boobs. When did this happen?

Feeling Guilty

For watching three straight hours of “I Love Lucy”.

How to Charm Me

Try to defend your leather clogs. You’re cute when you’re exasperated.

How to Annoy Me

Ask me if I like the pantsuit you just bought on sale at Wal-Mart. I hate trick questions.