An unfiltered fire hose of flaming condemnation

Thinking

I am ashamed to admit that I had nothing to do with Britney and Justin’s breakup.

Listening

A helicopter circling and circling and circling. It’s tough, sometimes, having to live in Andy Dick’s neighborhood.

Feeling Guilty

For eating a cookie in bed. Well, to be totally honest, for eating 12 cookies in bed.

How to Charm Me

Grin and bear the fact that, yes, I do in fact have to sleep with five separate pillows strategically placed at various angles across the bed.

How to Annoy Me

Screw the lid on so tight to everything that I have to use a fucking jackhammer to open the orange juice.