An unfiltered fire hose of flaming condemnation


I’m officially addicted to salsa. Someone stop me.

March 15, 2002


One Man’s Eye

Feeling Guilty

For listening, very closely, to the neighbors fight.

How to Charm Me

Resist the urge to point out the fact that I can’t stop talking.

How to Annoy Me

Build a huge mall at the end of my street. This is Los Angeles, for Chrissake, not Mississippi.


I remember the first time I undressed Malibu Barbie and made her sleep with Donny Osmond Barbie. I never owned a proper Ken doll, and although I knew Malibu Barbie would never have chosen to sleep with Donny, the supreme virginal archetype of all Mormondom,…