An unfiltered fire hose of flaming condemnation

For the Love of God!

I had no idea what I was getting myself into when I decided 10 days ago to redesign this website. I figured it defintely needed a change, but more importantly I felt that I needed to abandon my crippling dependency on nested tables and embrace the beauty that is CSS.

Now people, if there ever was a person on this earth who loves nested tables, my God, that person is me. I can take any design, however curvy or transparent or unnecessarily purple and turn it into tables. I cannot possibly extol the virtues of nested tables enough: Car won’t start? Try nested tables. Having trouble in your relationship? Try nested tables. Constipated? I highly recommend nested tables.

So when I sat down and started fiddling with CSS I felt as if I was typing without my hands. And I tried to give up several times, believe me. There were entire hours I spent cussing at the monitor and scaring the shit out of my dog. But my lovely bearded husband, like a concerned family member staging an intervention, wouldn’t let me fall back into my old ways. He’s defintely a keeper.

I’ve also gone back through my pre-Movable Type entries and entered them into Movable Type, perhaps the most time consuming endeavor of the redesign. Every night for the past week I’ve had dreams where I can’t do anything without an opening <div> and a closing </div>. Conversations had to begin with <div id= “conversation”> and end with </div>. There were <div> structures for going up the stairs, feeding the dog, and hitting the snooze button on the alarm, which proved to be the most exhausting because I usually hit the snooze button about 7 times. So in between the 7 <div id= “alarm-snooze”></div> tags there were also 7 <div id= “go-back-to-sleep”></div> tags.

So this website is coded entirely in CSS and, for the most part, validates in XHTML. I say “for the most part” because there are still some tables and old code hanging around in some of the much older entires, and I don’t have the time right now to go under the hood of each of those entries. And I just know that some self-righteous geek out there is going to run my site through a validator, and when it comes back un-validated he’s going to come here and make some snarky comment. And I just know he’ll be from Wisconsin.

To make matters even more frustrating, I couldn’t have picked a worse week to undertake a redesign. In the last 8 days my husband has accepted a job offer, we’ve procured financing for a house, I’ve developed a screaming bladder infection, we’ve found a house to buy, and now we have to haggle with 40 different people over how much and who gets to buy the house. I just needed that little extra anxiety of entering over 600 blog entries into a content management system.

<div id= “relief”> Phew! </div>

  • marie

    Dooce, I’m on WinXP with my resolution set at 1280×1024. O.o

    That’s exactly why I’m a fan of nested tables!

    But er, not so big a deal since, apparently, -most- people are viewing it right. I can deal with a bottom-bar.

  • Angelique

    Hey, lorelei, funny thing…. my sweetie and i were trying to pick out baby names just last night and your name came up…. what kindof stuff did kids come up with to poke fun at your name in school…..? see, i’m a fan of your name – him? notsomuch. how do you like it??

  • Marie (last time I swear)

    Dooce, dear, I figured it out.

    Your server’s been doing some funky shit, it seems(or my computer’s totally whacked).

    Got an email I could send my findings to?

  • Marie, thanks for your help. I had to change my DNS servers at when I got a new host, and it’s taking several days for the whole move-over to take place. I’m thinking that half of my usual readers still see my old site, and until all the routers across the internet update the IP address, i’m going to have problems. send email to dooce at dooce dot com.

  • Looks RAD! Glad you’re back. Bearded men rule, don’t they?

  • sheila

    I find Dooce is back right on the heels of learning they’ve found Elizabeth Smart…….coooo-incidence?

    All luverly.

  • I enjoy the bubbly tingle that comes along with this layout. However, when I get lost in the comments and can’t see any martini glasses, the tingle goes away and it’s like I’m standing in front of a urinal (a urinal in the classiest hotel in the universe, of course).

    Keep up the great work; I can’t imagine the past year without your brilliant humor. And I don’t want to be the bearer of bad news, but I think the page title might have a typo?

  • it’s pretty.

    i was missing the dooce.

    my notes never showed up on your other layout. maybe mt will be nicer to me?

  • marie

    Yay! working, looking totally fab. 😀

    (I actually was seeing the new site with the old stylesheet. That’s how weird it looked.)

  • Heather — beautiful job, congrats on the creativity and discipline to put it all together … Just a nit, but in IE6 (PC running XP) your sidebar info is waaaay at the bottom, past all the comments. Looks great in NS 6.2 tho.

  • Sharp! Love it! YAY!

  • Wendi

    I’ve recently become addicted to your site. The first time I found my way here was the day you took the site down for a re-do, so I luckily had a lot of catching up to do. You are brilliant and I love the new look.

  • Looks grand on Opera for the PC, 1024 by 768.

  • See, it even looks good on Opera. That’s when it’s time to hang things up, kick back, and have a drink. Or twelve. Love the new look/layout.

  • Yes, I like the new design too. But then again, I never saw the old one. I just want to send you the video I finished this evening of your wedding photos. I chose Leo Kotke’s, The Brain Of The Purple Mountain for the music. We can arrange to have it dropped off near a lamp post in Santa Monica somewhere.

  • Holy shit.

  • the new look is pooptastic!

  • Boz

    Doocelicious Design!

  • I too have struggled with CSS, and I think that it has really paid off on my site. My entire site validates as CSS as well as XHTML Strict except for “What’s New” and “Sitemap” pages over which I have very little control as they are served by a free service.

    CSS is the wave that everyone will soon have to catch. I will soon have to convert all of my websites to CSS and in one site in particular ( ), I am _NOT_ looking forward to it!

    BTW, I noticed that you feel guilty about putting roll-on on your dog’s feet. Our dog’s feet always smell like Fritos for some reason. Other chihuahua owners have noted the same thing.

    I was pointed to your site by Rob Guglielmetti’s Blog at and I’m glad that I took the time to stop by!


Heather B. Armstrong

Hi. I’m Heather B. Armstrong, and this used to be called mommy blogging. But then they started calling it Influencer Marketing: hashtag ad, hashtag sponsored, hashtag you know you want me to slap your product on my kid and exploit her for millions and millions of dollars. That’s how this shit works. Now? Well… sit back, buckle up, and enjoy the ride.

read more