An unfiltered fire hose of flaming condemnation

Things I Don’t Remember

1. The tick my mother burned out of my ear when I was five years old. 2. Why I woke up that one time at Mandalay Bay when I was staying at the Hard Rock. 3. Every New Year’s Day for the past seven years….

April 23, 2003

Feeling Guilty

For painting my dog’s tail…on purpose.


Lost in Transit



How to Charm Me

Pretend that I didn’t just back up and stick my entire foot into that open can of paint.

How to Annoy Me

Pull into the passing lane with no intention of BRINGING IT, YOU PUSSY.