Taking Charge of Your Fertility
When Mormons talk about Kolob, that magical, heavenly place where God lives, I’m pretty sure they’re just talking about Super Target.
Keep giving my dog all those goddamn biscuits. I’ll send YOU the bill when I ship him off to fat camp.
Wear that cute surgeon’s mask while mowing the lawn. It’s just so authoritative.
So this telemarketer from Sears just called and asked for Jon. And since I knew immediately that it was a telemarketer I told her no, he wasn’t here, but if she’d like to leave her name and home telephone number, I’m sure he’d love to…
For becoming the type of person who finds herself reading weblogs on a laptop while sitting on the toilet.