An unfiltered fire hose of flaming condemnation

Eat Your Heart Out, Trading Spaces

  • well, I have to delurk for this one!

    Congratulations 😀 Can’t wait to read all about it.

  • Carla Beth

    Congratulations, Dooce! Love those lime green sheets with the white bedspread and the weathered bedside table. :o)

  • I *must* be having an “emotional, hormones are fucked up” day, because I am literally shedding tears of joy for you! But I guess that’s not as lame as me weeping during a wedding scene on “Little Bill” (Nickelodeon cartoon) last week. At least you are a live human being.

    Congratulations! That is wonderful, Heather.

  • Tiff

    How wonderful you must feel to end up with a beautiful room and a I’m-sure-to-be-beautiful baby on the way! You can’t go wrong! I guess Utah hasn’t been such a bad transition. Congrats!

  • Ahhh, a little Dooc-a-mat to completely change your world. Mazeltov!!

  • Congrats! Hope your not as sick for the first few months as my wife was, but have as much fun as she is now! Whoo!

  • oooooooh!

    fab decorating job.

  • dvl

    congrats! come next spring you’ll wonder (1) how you could ever have professed to have “lived” before experiencing such immense love, and (2) why you wasted all that “free time” you had before. keep a camera handy from now on; though I still have to admit to having more pictures of my dog from her first year of life than of my child in total. 😀
    (and you thought you had it bad for frito-toes, just wait!)

  • The Honey Bear has created a helpful list of names for your newborn human child (in order of preference): 1) Honey Bear 2) Criscolux 4) Chucklehead 5) Bushimba-Moool 6) Gdansk 7) Commander Klaxxor 8) Fresh Wave 9) Windexamine 10) Bursitis.

  • Congratulations from another lurker!

  • A wee BlurboDooce!!! Congrats!

  • My…oh my….wow! That friggin’ brass bed looks fan-tas-tic in that room! Great job. Er, seriously, congratulations. Simply doocilicious!

  • How did you get those pictures to look SOOO cool?

  • Nevermind. My lovely girlfriend just showed me “the secret.”

  • Wonderful news–congratulations!

  • Congratulations!!!

  • Congratulations!!!

  • congrats on the bun in the oven, i bet hubby’s thrilled







  • FYI: People frown on putting Formula 409 on babies, even if they smell like Fritos…or something worse.

  • In the spirit of my ghetto friends back home, I think it proper to say something along the lines of, “I know *I* ain’t the baby’ daddy!”

    Which is to say “congratulations, love.” Be careful dear; the “Charm” and “Annoy” lists may start bulge over the next few months and become entirely separate website/entities/creatures. And I mean that in a good way. 😉

  • Hearty congratulations! Have you broken the news to Chuck yet?

  • Wow!! Congrats!!! 🙂

  • Sheila

    pretty soon it’ll be your turn to lick your index finger to clean tiny cheeks.

  • Whew…a baby? I can’t imagine it for myself, but I guess it’s one of those “natural progression” things. If you’ve been wanting a baby, then I’m glad you’re having a baby. I’m sure you’ll be a great mother…teach him/her to think for him/herself, which I’m sure you’ll do (I can’t see you doing anything other than that, for some reason!). Best of luck….

  • I love it, I love it, I love it.

    The Dooce Procreates! I can see the headline on the Enquirer now.

  • Marc

    Trading Nurseries! Sounds like a hot new show this fall for HGTV….

    (well done, Heather)

  • Congrats on the future Doocelette. Now might be the time to read The Story About the Baby (if you haven’t) to psyche yourself up.

  • Erin

    Congratulations! My stomach did an excited jumpy thing for you as soon as I saw the picture. This is going to be the coolest baby EVER.

  • Josh

    Happy pregos! You’re going to be bad-ass parents, but will the dog be jealous? Duhn-duh-duhnn!

  • celine

    I love the room! And I must say I know what it’s like renovating and refurbishing on a budget! Just bought my first condo and managed to get it all sorted out within 15K (malaysian Currency) thats about USD3,866.00. And there’s the library/homeoffice left to do up…sigghhh am getting depressed now…

  • Congrats!

  • sure, it takes me more than a year and you guys just have a whiff of unprotected sex and you are knocked up. congrats!

  • Mary Duan

    OMG, a little Dooce! A little Blurb! A little … conbination! Congratulations!

    I’d go ahead and ask for the epidural now.

  • Congratulations!! That is just wonderful! The guest room looks great as well. I am currently decorating mine too. Target rocks!

  • Hank

    Congratulations! You are now officially a dooce and a half!

  • Crys

    way to procreate

  • Congratulations!

  • Dane

    The best part of that last photo is seeing the shadow of you [taking the picture] on the counter and imagining how you must have been feeling. A most sincere congratulations.

  • I’m so happy for you guys!

    Congratulations 🙂

  • Congratulations! And may your child have long life, love, and lots of laughter.

  • congratulations!! spoil the baby to death. (i had to give you some bad baby advice since you will get TONS of good advice) 😉 I love the room and the ept test was a pleasant suprise. I am jealous that it will take away from your blogging time. Call me selfish *Shrug*

  • congratulations (:

  • CONGRATS! I only started reading you regularly just recently, but I feel attached already. Am so glad to hear that Dooce HQ is expanding! (Err….I didn’t mean it that way.)

  • simle

    what can I say but *congratulations*! This is such good news!

  • Congratulations and the room looks fantastic too!

  • Yay yay yay!

  • Miz_A

    Wow. I guess all that practice paid off! Congratulations! Thank heavens there’s someone smart out there breeding.
    Like everyone else has said, I eagerly await the new poop stories. 🙂

  • j

    Wait, did i miss something?

    When did u announce you were preggers? what is dooce meant… “seven more months” as in she likes to redecorate every 7 months??

    confirm or deny, dooce?

  • j

    maybe i should stop being retarded and look at *all* the pictures before commenting…

    heh. oops.

    Congrats, dooce!

Heather B. Armstrong

Hi. I’m Heather B. Armstrong, and this used to be called mommy blogging. But then they started calling it Influencer Marketing: hashtag ad, hashtag sponsored, hashtag you know you want me to slap your product on my kid and exploit her for millions and millions of dollars. That’s how this shit works. Now? Well… sit back, buckle up, and enjoy the ride.

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