An unfiltered fire hose of flaming condemnation


Ami Barwell, Music Photographer

July 29, 2003

How to Annoy Me

During a confessional on a reality TV show use the words “connect” and “on so many levels” anywhere in the same paragraph.

How to Charm Me

Love me so much that you’re willing to wash your feet before you come to bed, because you know that at that moment, washing your feet is the ONLY THING IN THE WORLD that will make me feel better.

Feeling Guilty

For being only 14 weeks into this pregnancy and already being able to out-eat my 6’3” tall husband by about 4,000 calories per day.


Surprisingly, being pregnant has done nothing for my complete and total aversion to anything two-years old, snotty, and prone to repeating “ball” over and over and over again.


Clem Snide: Soft Spot


Happy Birthday Poems for an Ex-Boyfriend

Tree-less in Memphis

A week ago I received a harrowing email from my father about a violent wind and rain storm that wreaked total havoc on the entire metropolitan Memphis area: “We had gale force winds Tuesday all over Shelby County. Nelta [my step-mother] and I were sitting…