Beulah: When Your Heartstrings Break
I know I’m supposed to feel pregnant and sexy, but right now all I feel is pregnant and water retention efficient.
Let me use your torso as a body pillow.
Try to kiss me while I’m sitting on the toilet. I know it may surprise you, but I DO have boundaries.
For blaming Little Debbie for my 10 pounds in 4 weeks weight gain, that fucking bitch.
In less than two weeks Jon and I find out whether we’re having a boy or a girl, or God forbid one of each or two of one. I think my fears of giving birth to multiple babies may be a little more profound than…