An unfiltered fire hose of flaming condemnation

Fawnzelle La Bon Marché Armstrong

It’s a girl!

20 years from now in some chilly doctor’s office littered with scary abstract art and old issues of Newsweek, my daughter is going to ask her therapist how she could have possibly had a normal life when it all began with her mother posting pictures of her private parts ON THE INTERNET.

God help her.

  • Brandi

    Congrats! Have you thought of any girl names? Is Chuck excited to have a baby sister??

  • YEA!!! Congratulations!

  • Congratulations!

    Jon, I hope you’re planning to celebrate your XX with some XX (ahem, the beer, not the movies). And remember, you’re drinking for three…

    On behalf of Heavenly Father, I’d like to thank you for doing your part to multiply and replenish the earth.

  • jcrew

    Congratulations! You guys are going to be great parents. Our first was a girl too, I can’t believe how our lives have changed in two short years. Get ready, and best wishes!

  • I don’t even see a cootie coo. I will never be able to read an ultrasound picture!!!

    Congrats and blessings for your baby girl!

  • wistful

    Congratulations, Heather & Jon! Can’t wait to see more pictures of your little sweet darling. 🙂

  • Congratulations…

  • rah

    everything i was going to say has already been said, so i’ll just say CONGRATS!

  • Genevieve

    How exciting!! Girl clothes are so much cuter! Congrats to all of you!

  • ina

    With parents like hers, this girl is already destined for geeky greatness.

    Congratulations, dooce and blurb!

  • Michelle

    Congratulations!! What fun she will be!

  • Dear God…the clothes, the CLOTHES!


  • Don’t forget to click on the picture. There’s a circle around the “girl parts”! I couldn’t figure out the damn thing at all without the circle!

  • Ali

    Wow, I’m glad someone understands those ultrasound pictures!

    Congratulations on your baby girl!
    Here’s to hoping that her therapist understands.

  • Marc

    Congrats – and some advice…did you get video? If you a bring a tape to the session they’ll tape the sonogram output for you if you ask – otherwise you’re stuck (as we were) with a quickly yellowing piece of thermal paper…at least you scanned it – it makes a nice first page of the baby pix book (or photoblog if you like).

  • YAHOO! Heather, Jon, my deepest congrats. She’s gonna drive you so crazy you’ll have no idea how to love anything more.

  • candace

    you know, i keep looking at that photo…trying to figure out if what i’m supposed to see is very little of greatly magnified. feeling dizzy now…
    in any case, happy baby to you both!

  • candace

    ok, so i’m retarded. i just *accidentally* clicked on the pic and your sonogram for dummies enlargement showed up. thank you 🙂

  • Heather

    You have not experienced love until you look your child in the eye for the first time. It will be the most incredible moment in your life. Treasure it.
    PS make sure you hit the Disney store right after Halloween and stock up on the princess costumes

  • Congratulations, Armstrongs! Such wonderful news.
    Word to DJ Blurb: when she’s of dating age, display the gelding shears prominently in the entry hall where the boys can see ’em. I’m sure you can buy ’em at Safeway in Utah.

  • A new Auntie

    My sister is just behind you and I keep looking here as a month-ahead guide. She’s thousands of miles away (& due in Feb)so I don’t know how she’s growin’. However, I did find out that I will have a perfect beautiful niece. Do you mind if we steal Fawnelle??? Maybe just Dorothy will suffice.

  • Congratulations!!!

  • Yayy! Go buy that adorable little dress pronto!
    And name ideas yet?

  • Me and say congratulations!

    nice pic(ultrasound)

  • erica

    yay for baby girls! congrats!

  • Jeni

    Am I the only one who can’t make heads or tails of that ultra sound?!

    Congratulations Heather!

  • brad in baltimore

    check check check.

    is this thing on?

  • “The girl should be in pictures”…isn’t that (*roughly*) a quote from somewhere? Just something I thought about when I saw this particular addition of the soon-to-be Miss Armstrong. (Fawnzelle, Shaneequa, or whatever the name turns out to be!) I almost feel sorry for you, having to decide on a name with all the possibilities. For some reason I imagine the one you end up with in the end won’t be quite as shocking….

  • i guess the easiest and most natural thing to say is congrats – may she be a holy terror for you to enjoy and regale us with stories in your blog about 🙂

  • Congratulations. Girls are so much better than little boys and when they get older, so much better than big boys too!

  • Grace

    When she’s famous, this will be the picture on all the tabloids.

  • awesome! :O

    Congrats! I was worried about “Fawnzelle” but the “Le Bon” part just pulls it all together.

  • woo! congrats!

  • Wheee!

    Super-congrats to the three of you.

    I mean four. (Sorry Chuck.)

  • Congratulations.

    What would really stuff her up is if you post pictures of the birth online. No amount of therapy could repair the damage that would cause.

  • Kitta does have a point there. Congratulations, Dooce and Dad.

  • Insert Clever Quip About Pregnancy and/or Baby Girls Here

  • Ta da!
    Best of luck.

  • oh wow! i love my nieces to pieces, hey you get to dress her up!

  • Congratulations!!! :`)

  • Congrats all around!
    I think you should call her Heather. Just to mess with people 🙂

  • Too many rice krispie treats, you know, sugar and spice….next time feed her Taco Bell Jon. Kidding…pretty crazy feelings huh. Wish you all the best. Watch Bill Cosby “Himself”. Good bit on baby girls…

  • Livingston

    Oh…one more thing. It’s officially past early September Blurbogenius. Looking forward to your triumphant return. All the best.

  • Oh congrats! Girls are waaaaay more fun to shop for and dress up. Trust me I have one of each and it’s so depressing shopping for boys!!!

  • Congratulations. You could’ve done the meanest thing ever and just put up the picture without telling what it is, I’m sure dozens and gazillions of people (like me) would’ve spent hours guessing what it could be.

  • That’s wonderful! Congratulations to you both! Girls are fun! I know, I’ve got two of them.

  • Anya

    Watch out world. Here’s to shitty diapers, 2 hours of sleep and constantly smelling like vomit and diaper creme! Cheers!

  • Rob W

    Wow… when I asked for comments, I never realized I’d have to be “no. 98”. Wow. Congratulations!

  • Congratulations. 🙂

  • MBM

    Congratulations to you both !!!!
    Thats just wonderful news

Heather B. Armstrong

Hi. I’m Heather B. Armstrong, and this used to be called mommy blogging. But then they started calling it Influencer Marketing: hashtag ad, hashtag sponsored, hashtag you know you want me to slap your product on my kid and exploit her for millions and millions of dollars. That’s how this shit works. Now? Well… sit back, buckle up, and enjoy the ride.

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