An unfiltered fire hose of flaming condemnation

Reading

A Catch

October 29, 2003

How to Annoy Me

Come to the dog park with treats in your pocket and act all surprised when my dog knocks you over and chews your pants to shreds. Duh?

How to Charm Me

As I walk into the room shifting my enormous weight from one leg to the other, refer to me as your “hot waddler.”

Thinking

Never again will I take for granted the ability to bend over and tie my shoes.