This here bringer of the pooper to the fun party

How to Charm Me

Love me despite the fact that you can’t tell whether that was me burping or the sound of a three-ton snow plow driving by our house.

January 5, 2004


This is the most horrifying webpage in the history of the internet.

How to Annoy Me

Ask me if you can touch my belly button. I’ll just go ahead and ask you to shrivel up and die.


The Relaunch of Mr. Pants

Feeling Guilty

For feeding my dog Pop Rocks.