An unfiltered fire hose of flaming condemnation

From Atop Tank Hill

  • Is that kind of like One Tree Hill?

  • Amy

    I hate to add to the snark but I honestly thought the mound of dirt was a landfill. OOF!

  • Fantastic photo!
    But naked yoga? really?
    As a woman, I can’t imagine that downward dog would be much fun naked.
    And as a pregnant woman, any extracurricular nakedness is to be avoided.

  • kara, no way any naked person should do downward facing dog while naked. but if this should be done, it’s bound to happen in SF for sure.

    I’ve seen some brain slip out on the side of spandex man pants. That was enough. Naked, I’d swallow my tongue. But only my own tongue.

  • Redundant – See Redundant.

  • Discopitbull

    That’s not a mound of dirt folks, that’s what Californians call their “grass”. (That’s a snarky comment from a Midwesterner with loads of green stuff everywhere right now.) If you can’t make it to the Bear State in early spring you’ll see that colour everywhere. I remember being so disappointed that Napa Valley wasn’t this lush green wonderland when we visited…in fall. So, were you to zoom in on that lovely park you would see rough tufts of bristly brown and gold grass-like stuff, not dirt. It’s weird anomalies like that park that makes photos like this so cool.

  • You guys are cracking me up (especailly Tiffany’s manners posting) Mihow, I’m with you – SF is a dirty little party town. Not too thrilled with it – there are many better coastal towns with far less seagulls and trash. I figured that pile of “dirt” was manure – since central california seems to be such a cow town – I can’t plug my nose long enough to get all the way through without the smell.

  • Sacramento is green. We have real live trees and everything!

  • Thank goodness I’m not alone. Even the strippers find a way to be dirtier. They don’t just “lap dance” in San Francisco, no. They remove the panties sit and go up and down dance.

    …Or so i have been told.

    I am not a stripper. Nor have I had any Bay Area lap dances.

  • Nor do I find strippers or stripping dirty. I rather like strippers. Just not ones who are also hookers.

    But hookers are o.k. If they’re obviously hookers.

    I will now shut up entirely.

  • What’s that really big brown lump on the right side of the picture?

  • Heather — what’s the font in your logo? (Relevance of this post is that I live in SF. It’s an SF page. My dog has pooped on that mound of dirt. And yes I DID pick it up. But you know you can’t pick it all up. Tiny particles of Lucy’s poop are now permanently a part of San Francisco. Huh. That’s a lot of Ps.)

  • Lauren

    you’re kidding, right?

  • Tek

    I like the picture. and the cowbells, greattt. what I really need is more Chuck. Please. and maybe a little more cowbell

  • Another congrats on the reconvining of the procedure. My daughter is a week younger than yours, and it’s good to know my husband wasn’t the only man like him in the world (he SWEARS he is)

  • Nice pics lady!

    I am in the midst of a heavy lobbying stint for a honeymoon in SF next month.

    Thanks for the refueling maneuver via your photos this week…heh heh, Here we go….

  • No, but seriously.

    Should a woman with the email address “sassietrousers” have the authoritay to offer insight on anything?

    I’m gonna go with a no.

  • Dude. You are such a bad mother for actually – gasp! – having LABOR PAINS! And FEELING SHITTY some days! How can something that literally ripped and tore it’s way out of your body not be a constant ever-lovin’ joy?!

    Why are infertile women taking all of their hostility out on you? Did I miss a memo? Sheesh.

  • Someone needs to introduce sassietrousers to the concept of irony. Hopefully, with a name like sassietrousers, she’d already be well aquainted with it though.

  • Erin

    Why, sassietrousers, why?

    Your mean e-mails have no place here.

    You obviously live in a dream world, and cunts that use pink font & send tasteless e-mail can kiss our (dooce-readers) collective asses.

  • Jessica

    Danielle – what makes you think “sassytrouseres” is infertile? Most infertiles are not like that.

    One of my favourite blogs, apart from Dooce, of course, is by an infertile Lady (I draw your special attention to that post, because it is about Dooce)

    A$$hats are come in all shapes and colours, fertile, infertile, and “childfree by choice”.

  • Jessica
  • The growing concensus seems to be that the mound ‘o’ dirt resembles kaka. Dooce…you need to move there because SF is OBVIOUSLY hoarding all the fibre.

    I also want to know what the hell is in that women’s pants that is making her so god-damned sassy?

  • Jessica

    Arrgh, I give up. Who ever said I was a computer literate?? 🙁

  • amy

    Your featured letter from a reader made me cringe.. It is so blooming obvious you are cut out for this parenting gig, you just have the balls to tell it like it is. Motherhood is wonderful, we love our little dictators to death but I guess being honest about the ‘extras’ was too much for your reader to bear. I dunno, having HONEST insights to the act of giving birth and the fall out that results was too much for her. Some prefer to pretend it is all hearts and flowers. It is not. It is a totally life/body changing event as most mothers are willing to admit. Some of it not pretty. And that is just the way it is. Kudo’s to you for telling the TRUTH! Leta is a lucky girl, she has REAL parents who appparently love her dearly.

  • Natasha

    My husband and I are thinking of trying for our first child in the next year or so, and I admire you so much, Heather, for not only the grace with which you’re handling new parenthood but also your willingness to share it with all of us. Sassietrousers can fuck off.

    (Whoops. Can I say that?)

  • i think sassietrousers is related to george bush. having a baby does not hurt! the war in iraq is going great! negativity does not exist in the world! everything is rigidly and unchangeably WONDERFUL!

    schwarzenegger/sassietrousers in ’08!

  • Natasha

    p.s. Beautiful S.F. pic.

  • Hi Jessica,

    I think it was this comment:

    I think some people should just leave such wonderful experiences
    to those who have the stamina and fibre to do such things!!!
    Having a baby is a WONDERFUL experience, down to the labor pains and tearing

    …that had me jumping to that conclusion. In retrospect it was an assumption on my part, and for that I apologize. Dooce has also posted some other items wherein infertile women liken her to the main source of evil on the planet, so my response was undoubtedly influenced by those, also.

    I’ve read the story you were trying to link at Chez Miscarriage, so now worries. 🙂

    My apologies for any offense to the infertile, or any blanket assumptions I had made, as that was not my intent. Just concurring on the “asshat”-ness of the email. 🙂

  • zebob

    I profusely apologize for the steaming dollop of sarcasm.
    As the father of two children, I really should know better.

  • Zaz

    I’m not sure why I feel compelled to read this blog, no less comment on it. Heather and Jon and baby (and dog) have become like one of the family – and I’m just some stranger out here…

    But you know, if I didn’t enjoy their writing, honesty, and worldview – I just wouldn’t read it. I don’t understand why some feel they must dump toxic waste on someone just because they disagree.

    Shame on sassypants.

  • Weez

    Maybe sassietrousers needs to reconvene the procedure.

  • Jessica

    Danielle – thanks for the clarification! All is cool. 🙂

    Weez – ROFL…my sentiments exactily.

  • Kris

    People like sassietrousers piss me off no end. She or he is one of the many, a emmer-effin’ clique of many, who want everyone to believe that Mothering isn’t just the best thing a woman can do–but it’s the only thing. It’s the only thing that will Deeply Satisfy us and how dare we choose not to and how dare we ever indicate by hint or blog post that there are painful, challenging parts involved? What I want is for people to respect those who choose not to birth a baby. What I want is for people to respect those who don’t relish torn vaginas.

    Sassietrousers, I wish mean things for you, at least for the next calendar year.

    Dooce and doocelovers, I wish sweet things for you.

  • Anon

    Yeah, Heather, why aren’t you drifting about with a constant seraphic smile on your face, your angelic infant glowing in your tireless arms, and a halo above your sweet maternal head? That’s what real mothers do, you know. I saw it on a Christmas card once.

  • Awesome pix as always, Dooce.

    Hey, in my next life I’d like to come back as one of your kids….having you and Jon for parents…and Chuck and Leta for siblings..would be the coolest. And I promise not to bleat!

  • Jujubee

    You know, and we know, that you are a fantastic parent and that you have many, many fans because you are willing to tell it as it is with humor and style. But I admire you most for your incredible strength, Dooce. I cannot imagine getting emails like that (and given the vast internet and the vast numbers of nutcases, I’m sure you’ve gotten more than your fair share) and still having the courage to write as freely as you do. I hope that never changes, because I’m pretty addicted to your blog!

  • midwifegoddessannie

    HOO-FUCKIN-RAY for Sassiepants’ obvious show of strength and fibre!!

    However – we can only pray for her to gain some common sense

  • rabooka


    You must be a lonely hag without any friends. You might want to consult a doctor about that stone cold heart that lives in your body.

    Long live the Armstrong family and as many little feet as their loving hearts desire:)

  • kt

    Eh–fibre is going out of style anyway. It’s like, so 1990. Depression and other general fibre-lacking activity is the new black. Get with it Sassy Pants, or whatever the hell your name is.

  • Anna

    I think you should put sassietrousers’ real e-mail address on your website and let us do your dirty work!

  • Oh…maybe Sassiepants is on to something…fibre/fiber makes you regular…right?
    She sounds like she’s got something up her ass. Yeah…what’s her real e-mail address. What a snoot!

  • I think sassiepants is missing the whole point: it’s the whole package (from pain to poop to tiny feet and temper tantrums) that makes motherhood wonderful.
    Long live Dooce and blatant honesty!!!

  • OH. MY. GOD. Someone seriously wrote that?! I’ll bet you a million dollars she doesn’t have a pre-teen yet. I’ve been there and done that FOUR times, and until she can match me on that, I’m not listening to a &%*#@ thing she says. PLEASE.

  • Lauren

    Imagine what Miss Sassy has to say about oops babies and teen moms. My oh my, give her my email so she can be nasty to me!

  • lolo

    Hey sassie – My “baby” is now 19 and I’m still not seriously over it! I hope I never will be!

  • I thought that was sassie’s real e-mail? I thought about doing the hate-mail like maddox, where all the fans can write in to ignorant bitches/ sons-of-bitches and just generally tell them what they are, and I was tempted to, but I figure if it’s her real e-mail, she’s going to get plenty of shit, and I won’t be able to tell her off any more articulately than anyone else. Probably much less so. But just for the record:
    Clearly, you don’t know what the funk you’re talking about “sassietrousers”. Get a fucking life.

  • kdub

    Miss Sassytrousers can kiss my sassyass. We should pray for her kids–with that dysfunctional, judgemental attitude of hers, they’re likely to end up seriously fucked up.

  • Sara

    Obviously, miss sassy hasn’t read much of your website.
    If we could, The Internet Who Loves You would kick her ass.
    Maybe she is the kind of person (mother?) who had her child “trained” at 2 months. Dooce, you rock, and we all know how much you love your Leta even with all of the challenges!

  • heathabee

    is it bad that i’m so gullible that i thought that sassytrousers at yahoo dot com was the persons actual email, and i *actually* wrote her hatemail?

    what am i? in grade 10?

    Dooce, you rock as a parent, you rock as queen of the internet and I know that as soon as Leta is old enough to say so, she’s going to tell you all of the things that all the wonderful people here have already said..

    … except for when she’s in grade 10.. those years aren’t pretty..

    Keep posting those emails because you will see that there are more of us out here in Computer Land that love you, than those of them out there in idiotville who don’t understand you!


Heather B. Armstrong

Hi. I’m Heather B. Armstrong, and this used to be called mommy blogging. But then they started calling it Influencer Marketing: hashtag ad, hashtag sponsored, hashtag you know you want me to slap your product on my kid and exploit her for millions and millions of dollars. That’s how this shit works. Now? Well… sit back, buckle up, and enjoy the ride.

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