An unfiltered fire hose of flaming condemnation

Jon won’t let me plant these in our yard so I’m left to taking longing pictures of them

  • Ms-Chievous


  • dutchshoe

    Yes, you must put the songs on the Interpol cd in the correct order. The sequencing is part of it all – tracks 2-6 should be heard in that order and very loud (at this point though, those numbers probably mean little).
    And I have to add that I’m lucky enough to be spending election night with Interpol in Austin. What a night it may turn out to be. (KERRY! KERRY! KERRY!)

  • as a clumsy and rather dumb child i sustained many injuries due to encounters with the various saw palms, palmetto trees, and pampas grasses that my mother cultivated (either out of her desire to fit into the south carolina landscape, or out of sheer lunacy… actually i think those are pretty much the same thing).
    i think i might have turned out better had she just taken pictures, or perhaps put up life-size photos of the damned evil things.

  • danika

    Well you battled the 50year old version. If you plant it right away it’ll be the young version and you guys will probably move(just guessing since most ppl move from their first house) before it becomes unmanageable (sp?) 😛

  • acb

    I feel really old calling something by it’s year, but I live in Maine and during the ‘Ice Storm of ’98’, my family lost power for 12 days. Some of my friends who live down camp roads lost it for three weeks or more… at least we had the entertainment of listening to the trees explode. Although I don’t recommend you take Leta into a big frozen woods… anyway, good luck with the power.

  • two other things to consider if that is a Rose Glow Japanese Barberry:

    Foliage Poisonous
    Fruit Poisonous

    Leta really doesn’t need the temptation. :op

  • The CD-burning fiasco was too funny, if only because I did the same thing myself last week – noticed that I CD I’d been groovin’ on (something by Michael Penn, if you must know… I’m only a little bit embarrased by that) had been playing in COMPLETELY REVERSED order. I listened to it the right way a couple of times, then decided… you know what? Michael Penn was WRONG. The album is actually much better my way.

    Don’t be too hard on yourself – track order isn’t as much of essential part of the “album experience” in this day of 70 minute filler-filled CDs and “buy one track at a time” online music stores. It’s not like the Vinyl Days.

    dr. dave

  • e

    our neighbor has one and whenever a kid kicks a soccer/foot/base/tennis ball into it, it is as good as gone. For the sake of Leta’s happiness don’t plant one.

  • Beautiful, but bushes that leave pointy things for bare feet to step on is no fun.

    I’d suggest nandina, but your winters may be too cold for them.

  • We live in one of the oldest established neighborhoods in our town. Barberry bushes are everywhere; from what I’ve been told, they are usually located under windows to ward off peeping toms and burglars — and also planted in hedgerows around property to keep out trespassers. Barberrys are like some sort of old-timey traffic control. Very effective, too! 🙂 Everything serves a purpose, I guess.

  • Marmotgod

    I saw one of those bushes trying to pick up a hooker on Canal St. one night. Bad mojo.

  • Very pretty!

  • I’ve had barberry in my yard and it actually makes a good fence b/c of the prickles. It requires no real pruning b/c it looks lovely in its natural state. But it’s no pricklier than roses and looks just as nice all bunched in a vase (and dries beautifully). Plus, it’s a cheap bush. What could be better?

  • I can definitely feel the longing in that picture. Or maybe it’s me now longing for that beautiful plant.

  • Kimberley

    Congrats on making it into Wired !!

  • Roses are prickly too, and require a lot more handholding, but people don’t hesitate to plant them. Show him who wears the pants in the family and plant TWO!

  • Its very pretty. I too am better at enjoying plants in other peoples yards when they are dangerous and thorny!

  • ah, the greatness of berberis thunbergii … Japanese Barberry is a great landscape plant … under-utilized here in Texas … prickly – yes, but so are roses and people love those, don’t they?

    I highly recommend them.

  • I am not sure what that plant is, but I think those are the most deceitful plants in the world.

    My uncle had those in his landscaped garden and my husband and I tend to it every summer. Believe me, if you plant one of those suckers, make someone else prune and cut for you. My uncle did, but he paid us well. Be evil like the plant.

  • Oh! And did I mention that they are beautiful? Ah geez, why does beauty come with thorns?

  • Sophie

    I can count on the fingers of one hand the number of plants in my yards that aren’t prickly (and I don’t have any cactus!). I guess Arizona landscaping is a whole different world. We don’t rule out prickly plants unless the spines are more than an inch long.

  • Julie

    Jon’s right. I have them – no, make that HAD THEM, in our front yard. Just ripped them out in a progesterone-fueled hissy fit.

  • Make him a deal–he can wear clogs and you can plant the prickly plants (AND wear pajamas to the store…’cause clogs are way worse than prickly plants!)

  • Colleen

    beauty, thy name is pain

  • Amanda B.

    Holy crap.

    Who knew so many people were so passionate about their shrubberies?

    *call the poliiice*

  • I once tried to trim my pubes with a Flowbee. Not a good idea.

  • It must be one of those bushes to be admired from afar… I agree with all who said “ouchies…”

  • Okay, prickly is bad, but THOSE ARE GORGEOUS!

    And Wool Mort? Siiiiigh. What is wrong with people?

  • Carmen Allen

    that brilliant shade of red reminds me of a certain time in the life of heather’s hair, ummm, what was it, oh yeah, septic-tank poopy red. although this plant shade is a shade (how many times in the same blog can i say shade? oh wait—shade!!!) slighty brighter than septic tank poopy red…however, for some odd reason, it still brought back memories…..

  • Cristina

    sorry, this is not red-bush related (also kinky sounding)

    Heather, with 500+ poop comments/suggestions your house must be a virtual poop lab (god I cant believe I said that) Are you going to announce the best poop advice that you received?

  • Fahrvergnugen

    He is right about the prickliness. I have four of those bastardly shrubs in front of my house, and they are so violently, evilly prickly that I can’t get in close enough to chop the curseworthy blighters down.

    I want nice, inoffensive, non-stabby, curly, fluffy ferns in front of my porch, not a pitfall of scraggly, thorny, rusty-looking shrubbery.

    They look pretty in that picture, but I have to live with the things, and I can tell you, it takes a lot of work to keep them looking nice. A lot of work and very, very, very thick gloves. Hence mine look weedy, scrubby, and malevolent.

  • Bec

    They may be prickly, but they’re also very pretty.

  • MrsDoF

    Heather, dear, I know you are taking prescription medications, but you need to check the dosage because you are still Crazy if you want those pernicious plants on your property. This is one time when you must defer to the wisdom of your loving husband.

  • nothing wrong with a little pain to go with a little beauty now is there? I mean isn’t that what women (are suppose to) do? 😉 har har…

    TAKE IT TO A VOTE! all those in favor of the beautiful bush say AYE! ..the only bush I’ll be voting for.

  • Gia on Guam

    Liz:Top that, sister.

    I live on a small island in the Pacific in an area they call Typhoon Alley. A typhoon is a hurricane with an opposite spin. And I do indeed feel for you Floridians with your back to back storms but the last doozie we had left me with no electricity for 2 months. Have you been topped?

  • Heather, I live within one zip code digit of you (spooky, no?) and we have those Barberries. They rock! Prickly, yes, but hardy as hell, which comes in handy in a state where the temperature can go from frigid to frying in the space of a day.

  • Prickly? yes. But hardy! As a fellow Utahn, let me tell you; hardy is good in this climate of extremes. They only need pruning once a year, so tell Jon to wear the gloves and be a man!

  • el

    Too prickley?
    They must be the bush…..OF FRANCE!!!!

  • el

    Oh yeah…another side note… today, after our local newspaper endorsed Kerry, the editorial page included a letter from a man who said, “I’m sick of liberals. They’re no better than snail eating frenchmen!!!!”
    I added the four exclaimation points myself.

  • Julie

    well my comment for the crank that wrote to you: BITE ME!

    Must get new tenants for the White House…. GO KERRY!

  • Sarah

    Practice Abstinence in 2004: Vote AGAINST Bush/Dick

  • you’re excellent because you post MANY TIMES throughout the day. <3

  • Patrick

    You had the Interpol track order… OF FRANCE!!!!

    (and I apologize if some commenter already posted that, I didn’t have time to read them all).

  • Why won’t it let me type my name in small letters? Anywho,
    Can we please have the email address?? Please please please?

  • I can almost guarantee that the people who ramble on about “those dang frenchies” and say things like “OF FRANCE!!!!” have never left the county they were born in, much less ever traveled to another country.

    Small minded people. Ack.

  • This has nothing to do with your lovely flower photo and everything to do with leaving the TV on all the time. I once read a short story about an annoying neighbor who had his TV on ALL THE TIME and his neighbors were getting really pissed. It turns out that the guy left his TV on to keep a demon away and when they made him turn it off he was killed by the demon. So, yeah, I keep my TV on all the time too.

  • Of France!!!!

    You really, totally made my night! hoo hoo

  • Anyone else notice that it now says that Heather takes pictures “every day?”

    And, Sarah, you crack me up!

  • Are you sure we can’t have her e-mail address? Pleeeeease?

    In light of this woman’s errant stupidity, I’m going to make a 1/4 sized George Bush doll, then hang it on a noose on the tree outside my house, and have his eyes sewn up, then run ketchup out the sockets. I’m going to get kids dress clothes from the thrift store, and scrawl something across the chest of said-dumbass. It’s going to be the best halloween decoration, ever!

  • Lesley

    The flowers are pretty but I just gotta say re the email you got, perhaps the person who emailed it to you has forgotten that you live in a democracy where you can choose NOT to elect Bush if you see fit. It’s none of her fucking business. And I expect her life must be extremely lonely and google deprived if she’s emailing you rage because you don’t think Dubya is a good candidate. As a person who works in the field of economics I can assure her Dubya’s done dick for the American economy – and I’m sure the many unemployed would probably agree. But gosh durn, it’s good to know there are dumbass rageaholics out there votin’ Republican. P.S. You’re a beautiful woman, all hair styles included.

Heather B. Armstrong

Hi. I’m Heather B. Armstrong, and this used to be called mommy blogging. But then they started calling it Influencer Marketing: hashtag ad, hashtag sponsored, hashtag you know you want me to slap your product on my kid and exploit her for millions and millions of dollars. That’s how this shit works. Now? Well… sit back, buckle up, and enjoy the ride.

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