An unfiltered fire hose of flaming condemnation

Give me back the lens cap, Scooter

  • Danika

    Hmmm nope.. can’t see the numbers for the individual posts…

    Thanks gg

  • ab

    Chuckles is the congressman!!! Of France!!!

  • margaret yang

    Eh, my baby is cuter.

  • Leta is just adorable — it’s amazing how her eyes look almost black in some photos.

    And…I used to see the numbers by the individual posts, but I don’t see them now.

    Maybe because I’m using I/E now since I’m at work, instead of Mozilla.

  • aic

    She looks like you there Heather.

  • Sarah

    Look at those eyes! What a yummy little Scooter! She looks like her papa, but I bet she’ll get writing talent from mama.

  • You are a bold brave woman to dress Miss. Leta in white! Adorable as always.

  • Lizzie

    When I saw the thumbnail photo, I really thought that was a chocolate donut. But I guess that pretty white coat wouldn’t be so white if that were the case.

  • robin

    On the clothes post, I love it when I get baby’s leg #1 into pair of pants, and as I’m trying to put leg #2 in, leg #1 kicks out! And this goes back and forth until I give up and just put on a onsie. 🙂

  • Absolutely lovely.

  • dude, she’s gonna be so bummed when she’s old enough to read about poop coming out of her butt — and then realizes that like a 1000 people read all about it. tank god for the internet, now babies get the humiliation they truly deserve… wee bastards.

  • Is it intimidating to live in a house with THAT MUCH CUTENESS? I don’t know if I could handle it.

  • Can I just say… speaking as a 100% Dooce fan, as someone who cheers when she posts a hater’s email address to the WHOLE WIDE WORLD, as someone who would probably totally join the Dooce Fan Club if there was one… I’ve never really felt the “Chuck’s so handsome! And dreamy!” love that happens here sometimes. I suspect it’s because I’m a cat person, with my only dog allegiance belonging solely to huskies. I had huskies as a kid and grew up believing that all dogs should be black-and-white. With pointy ears. And fluffy, curling tails.

    However. All that said: those puppy pictures of Chuck are, for real, the cutest goddamned thing I have seen in… well, about 3 weeks, since that day I ran into a guy with a 13-week-old husky puppy at the PetSmart.

    How could someone just abandon such a cute puppy on a park bench? People are so scary.

  • In your quest to look past the obvious resemblance to her father and find traces of yourself, have you considered whether Leta has mamasita’s bone structure? She may look like Jon, but she’s only cute because she’s a dainty Jon-girl. Dainty comes from mama!

  • krissy pants

    Baby…cute. Dog…cute.

    Now, onto other matters. I came across a little design quiz comparing the Bush and Kerry campaign logos at Before & After Magazine. Everyone should check it out.

  • Oh my GOD, that kid is cute. Look at those eyes, ferchristsake. Are they real??

    Good goin’, y’all.

  • My dad does a lot of that “old people” shit, too. He eats sardines. He drinks prune juice. And when a telemarketer calls the house, he actually likes to talk to them — you know, get to know them. Won’t be long before he’s spending my inheritance on some kind of insurance quackery or beachfront property in Iowa.

  • And I thought it was a hockey puck. Does that make me an honorary Canadian?

  • Michael

    Here’s my thing: why is it your daughter always looks like she’s starring in the latest rap video? Who does she think she is, Ashanti? (This is TOtally an Ashanti look.)

  • brandywine

    Dooce–my 21 month old adores the pictures of your lil Leta. She fussed when I tried to read some of the comments and her picture was no longer visible. Then she told Leta “It’s alright” (first time poster long time reader) hope all is well with you and yours

  • Holy crap, I never thought of turning on the subtitles so I could actually understand a conversation! And all this time I’ve been doing it the hard way….thanks, Dooce’s Dad!

  • Mari

    I’ve turned on the subtitles for a movie when the accents are difficult to understand, for ex., Gosford Park and Master and Commander, and I’m only 32.

  • Kim

    OMG, your Chuck adoption story totally made me cry.

  • Fran – I officially anoint thee an honorary Canadian.
    Thankfully though, the object in Leta’s mouth was a lens cap as opposed to a hockey puck. Because in Canada, “puck-biter” is just not a term you would want your baby girl to be associated with.

  • Cristina

    NOT only something old people do. I occasionally turn on subtitles too. Go ahead, poke fun.

    I am about to cry. My mailroom at work somehow managed to fuck up my application for voting by mail. Texas never got it. I dont get to vote this year. I feel sick. I know it doesnt really matter–Texas is red whether I vote or not. Still I think the mailroom just broke my heart.

  • Cristina

    guess I vote for Chuck, then.
    not a bad second option…

  • *SOB*

    That Chuck story…Oh man, that made me teary.

  • tabatha

    Your google ads are now sprouting up Anti-Kerry websites!!!

  • Subtitles. Its something that Deaf people do too, and no I’m not that old. 33 isn’t is it?

    I’m currently in a hissing fit, because Question Time from Florida is not subtitled.

    Its subtitles to us Brits, captions to you USAers.

  • Kevin

    “Mmmmm…. these Nikon caps are so much tastier than those Canon ones.”

  • Well, now we know why he’s named “Chuck…”

  • DM

    I love DVDs just for the fact that there are subtitles. Half the time I don’t know what’s going on or what someone’s name is or what the heck is that guy talking about? Subtitles rock. Of course, I am old (38), according to all my young, hip friends. Do people say hip nowadays? Do they say nowadays?

  • Dee

    Heather — I am waiting for the dooce sweatshirts be ba available —– when are they coming?

    Leta looks cuter and cuter in each new pic

  • Deja

    I’m 22 and I ALWAYS watch movies with subtitles. Even movies that I’ve seen a thousand times. Am I weird? Oh, wait, I’m a democrat… OF FRANCE!

  • …of france lady!!!

    wow, i’m in advertising and have worked on many national campaigns and have never heard my slogan over and over so many times! i’m flattered, really. go bush.

    god, i’m just asking for it, aren’t I?

    but really, it’s all in good fun. we’re all in this together.

    …of France!!!! (is that 4?)

  • Susan

    this might be because i’m under a lot of stress right now. it might be because i’ve ALMOST gotten a dog approximately 5034389 times in the past six months and my boyfriend still won’t let me. this might be because i am trembling under the stress of having promised my parents i wouldn’t get a dog until i graduated college.
    but i cried big, dweeby, rolling tears over chuck’s adoption story.

  • …of france lady!!!!

    Oh, let me also say that Leta is really beautiful. i know the playdoh fun factory is alarming, but at least you weren’t on a beach in front of the whole world like i was when that happened to me. just wait until potty training – that’s a whole new adventure. and your dog is FLUFFY soft cute.

  • Ellen

    I expect this comment will never be seen under the pile, but I thought it was amusing that, reading your post about the email that insulted your hair from earlier in the week, this was the text ad at the bottom:

    Heinz or W? You Decide
    You don’t support Democrats. Why should your ketchup?

  • …of france lady!!!!

    OK, I said I LIKED her hair!!!!! I think Dooce is very attractive. The “bitch” comment was not meant for Dooce or anyone! I was loaded and free-typing. OK? Done.I ADORE Dooce’s hair. Really I do.

  • Sarah

    Lady, any mother who can even bring a white piece of clothing within a one mile radius of a baby and still have it looking (gasp) white… well, you must be doing a decent job. Just watch out for the emails…you shouldn’t let Leta put that in her mouth, she could have a growth spurt, grow a bigger mouth and swallow it. Or she could sell it on eBay and get negative feedback, scarring her for life.

    But in all seriousness, she’s just gorgeous.

  • Taylor

    Your baby girl has the most BEAUTIFUL eyes EVER!!!!

  • Mmmm, Lens Cap.

  • she looks like a little snowflake 🙂

  • While I was reading dooce yesterday, my backyard neighbour was robbed. The room that our computer is in overlooks the neighbour’s backyard. In fact, it has three large windows that give a clear view of their yard. The perp tried to jimmy two windows on the back of the house before finally breaking through a basement window…ALL IN THE BACKYARD! That, dooce, shows you how much I enjoy your website.

  • It’s GANDHI people..not Ghandi.
    It’s not that hard I’m sure.
    And he was never part of the UN for God’s sake…(re:a comment yday)

  • kp

    Hey! I watch movies with the subtitles so I don’t miss anything AND I’M 27!

    Seriously, try it, You have no idea how many lines you’re missing–especially during an argument or a scene when they’re in traffic…you hear a ton more! And it’s required for any English or Scottish accents!

    Hey, of France lady….Shhh. You made your point. Quiet now. Enough. Step away from your keyboard. LET IT GO!

  • I watch DVDs with the subtitles too! I’m 26. I live with movie talkers so sometimes the only way I know what’s going on is by reading the lines.

    Leta is still cute as ever!

  • Leta is so beautiful and cute and Chuck! Chuck! awww If he ever COULD have puppies, I’d take one in an instant. No wonder you weren’t going to let anyone else take him. awwwww.

Heather B. Armstrong

Hi. I’m Heather B. Armstrong, and this used to be called mommy blogging. But then they started calling it Influencer Marketing: hashtag ad, hashtag sponsored, hashtag you know you want me to slap your product on my kid and exploit her for millions and millions of dollars. That’s how this shit works. Now? Well… sit back, buckle up, and enjoy the ride.

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