An unfiltered fire hose of flaming condemnation

She fell over!

  • Amber

    As long as you didn’t actually push her for the sole purpose of taking this photo, should be fine.

    Too cute!!

  • Em

    Also meant to say: WE HAVE A FROGGIE DOWN!


  • My husband just pointed out that it would be more likely that my mom would use that analogy to me instead of the other way around…and I’m known in the family as talking like a sailor.

    Mom just says the darnedest things….

  • That is the cutest picture ever. She doesn’t even seem worried. It was like an everyday occurance and eventually someone would come and get her.
    Like turtles…

  • She’s just relaxing. Kicking back. Looking for animal shapes in the clouds. Finding her “happy place”.

  • At least she’s not a sockless baby frog. 🙂 Adorable!

  • sarab

    I hope we will get a picture of Chuck’s costume soon. I’ve hardly been able to sleep after that tantalizing sneak peak last week. Great picture of Leta.

  • I once had a conversation with my ultraconservative-nosexbeforemarriage-mom where I meant to say ” I really love Bilbo’s Dill Dip” But what came out was “I really love Dildos” (Soooo relieved when she ended up laughing her arse off!)

  • Kristin

    Pretty scary when my first thought upon logging in today was, “Wonder what Leta was for Halloween?” LOL– Adorable frog.

  • It’s so creepy when they get flipped over like that. Those waving baby apendages…ugh.

    Once again – cuteness achieved.

  • Danika

    Sarab~Check Saturdays picture of the day.

  • Cristina

    I want you to know that I am at work practically pissing my pants with your limp dick story. I am crying, tears streaming down my face. priceless

  • Kano

    Put me in a friggn frog suit and then expect me to sit up straight while you take my picture? What the heck is wrong with you adults? Now hurry and pick me up out of these leaves. Then she cries cause she realizes they are all related 🙂

  • Mir

    Now why on earth would you help her up? Remind me to show you the pictures of my daughter after she fell head-first into a huge cardboard box, as a toddler. I guess technically, they’re just pictures of her legs waving in the air. I love those pictures. Totally worth the shattered eardrums I got while taking them.

  • i love the look of resignation on her face–

    “sigh. how did i KNOW she’d take a picture instead of rush to my aid. *&%^&$$#$ papparazzi mommy.”

  • laura

    Socks! She’s wearing socks! Finally proof that she is not always the sockless baby…

  • well, that IS what happens to turtles and that is how their predators eat their tender bellies. i am sure the only predator to get to her belly was her momma with the kissy-face.

    how cute!

  • Ehle

    At least she has on both socks!

  • She has both socks on! 😉 (I know, I am not the first to comment on this fact but that is what I thought when I saw the picture)

  • Aha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha! This is horrible…I shouldn’t be laughing, should I? Aha ha ha ha ha! She’s alright, right? Ha ha ha…oh…good times.

  • carmen

    oh so cute!!!!! the frog is definitely the cutest member of the amphibian world. oh wait, that is the amphibian world. h well, she takes the cake!!!

  • Leta whatever you do – don’t let those feet hit the ground!

  • RJ

    at least both of her socks are intact. . . marriage saved for the time being. . .

  • Hahaha! That’s hilarious. Her little feet! What a great picture.

    P.S. What’s the prize for being first? I’m just sayin…

  • sab

    This picture and your explanation made me laugh out loud and made my day.

    It’s a shame to think that someone out there reading this right now is also typing a nasty email about your parenting skills.

  • “it’s a shame to think that someone out there reading this right now is also typing a nasty email about your parenting skills.”

    awwww… fuck ’em if they can’t take a joke

  • How adorable!
    I look forward to reading you site every day. It’s refreshing to hear someone else with the same kind of sarcastic wit that I am known for!
    Thanks for the entertainment!

  • I hate it when I forget the r on your. I promise I know how to talk…. 😛

  • Personally, I would like to see a photo of two sockless Leta feet. I adore baby feet. In fact, whenever I’m feeling a little peckish, I gnaw on my baby’s toes. Definitely the cutest part of babies. I love how their feet are all round and pudgy on account of they haven’t been walked on yet 🙂

  • *Squee.* That picture makes me want to have kids! So cute… little feet waving… froggy… can’t think cleary… must have… baby! And she’s just laying there. Lookin’ at the sky. Thinkin’ ’bout socks. How many comments include the word “socks” today? Ah, eight. And now nine, with mine. Yup. Socks.

  • Aww! She’s so precious. A turtle with tiny socked footsies.

  • eco2geek

    Further proof that Gravity Works. 🙂

  • hahaha! funny turtle baby! also! “benjamin franklin is a dickhead” is completely awesome! woot! woot!

  • It’s those round little bottoms… they can’t sit up for very long before they topple over. Oh so cute 🙂

  • Liisa

    I must say that the whole thing about your Mother is abso-fucking-lutely hilarious. Sorry if that makes me bad. But, well, I sorta’ am.
    Cute pic, of course. Costumes are so much fun. Go buy a whole bunch when they are 75% off to keep in the dress-up box(okay, maybe next year). My daughter said, “Can I wear my costume to school again next week?” Ahh, yes, if only your Daddy would agree with us…

  • Ashley

    Everyday I sacrifice the safety of my computer and turn off my firewall… just so I can see the Daily Dooce Photo…

    Today was SO worth it.

  • robin

    Oh my god. I went to bed Saturday night thinking I was going to gain an hour of sleep. Nope. Not with a 9 month old. Not only did he get up at 6am, but his naps are completely messed up and he doesn’t know when to go to sleep at night. Then I read your entry, and just about peed my pants. Good stuff. Right on target.

  • robin

    And just for kicks, you can check out that 9 month old….he was an Old Navy pumpkin. 🙂

  • Can’t comment. Laughing too hard. Who does have a limp dick the size of a windshield wiper?

  • erika

    AWWW-she is soooo cute!!

  • Gia on Guam


    I’d like to see a photo of Leta on her knees crawling like a proper frog baby. Also, please don’t keep us in suspense any longer about Chuck’s costume.

  • The costumes are total fecking genius. Just brilliant. Expecially the dawg birdee.

    I went for the “axe-murdering zombie crossed with tango-man” look, which worked surprisingly well.

    Seeng as you’re in the states I’m not convinced you’ll have a clue who the tango-man is, so I should explain that he was a bright orange semi-naked man used in the Tango (soft drink) commercials in the UK a few years back. He got banned for inciting kids to slap each other!

  • you know, now that i look closely – the left sock seems to be working it’s way off the adorably tiny foot.

  • At least she has her socks on!

  • omg there’s another danika. :O

    that said, Leta is adorable. I love that picture!

  • mrs. george #2

    GEORGE! You hottie stud, you. Gimme some Halloween lovin’.

  • Melissa

    so…does it seem to you that Leta looks as thrilled as her mama walking around the office party looking at costumes?

    finally…a pictue PROVING she is her mama’s girl!

  • Marti

    Heather, Oh Heather.
    WHat a wonderful tale these pics tell.

  • While I realize that no one will probably even read my lame little Comment #99, I’m just DYING to know what the 9 barn animals were! I’ve been wracking my brain trying to come up with that many. Cow, pig, sheep, chicken…um…horse? Goose? Seems sort of redundant, with the chicken. Goat, maybe? I’m stretching here, and that still only SEVEN!

  • shy me

    that’s a friggin hilarious picture!

Heather B. Armstrong

Hi. I’m Heather B. Armstrong, and this used to be called mommy blogging. But then they started calling it Influencer Marketing: hashtag ad, hashtag sponsored, hashtag you know you want me to slap your product on my kid and exploit her for millions and millions of dollars. That’s how this shit works. Now? Well… sit back, buckle up, and enjoy the ride.

read more