An unfiltered fire hose of flaming condemnation

Sigh. Life, life is hard.

  • Does Chuck know how famous and widely loved he is?

  • a reader

    Leta always looks so happy in her pics with you and you always look kinda upset. wassup?

  • FUG

    I like cheetos

  • Ok, I just got all filled up on the last paragraph of the letter to Leta.

    Think that means I have Mom issues?

  • Megan

    I love your monthly newsletters. They’re always so loving and candid and really make me want to have children. I am almost 25 and nowhere near it, but it gives me hope that someday I won’t be so selfish and I’ll be able to love something even more than I love my pets….which is a ridiculous amount. Thank you so much for sharing your self, your family and your congressman with us. I look forward to checking in on your site many times a day and I am never dissapointed, except for when I want more Dooce and there isn’t anything new. So, thanks for being here and for making me happy every day.

  • stunning eyes and a mother who writes her monthly letters brimming with love . .

    i wanna be like leta when i grow up.

  • I love Chuck! Soon we’ll be getting a kitty, because kitties are more our style, and I hope we find one as perfect for us as Chuck seems for the Armstrongs. What a sweetie!

  • Congressman Chuckles has my vote. But will he come out of retirement?

  • Yay! Dooce is back to it’s old self. Looking forward to more stories of Leta, Chuck, and their parents!

  • He is so adorable. I just want to squish him! (In the most loving way, of course.)

  • Dez

    Aw, Senator, don’t look so sad. Your people and their readers love you very much.

    Hilary/Chuck 2008!

  • thanks. I needed that.

  • newmomfromtucson

    Leta is one month and a day older than my daughter. I agree that THIS is the oh so fun stage of giggles, gummy smiles and funny sounds. It is like having your best friend with you all the time–I’m loving it too. Thanks Heather for posting such special thoughts.

  • Cora’s mommy

    Isn’t amazing how much you can love a little person? I asked my husband once, “Don’t you love Cora so much you could cry?” He said, “yes.”, which suprised me, he isn’t usually that *soft*. And I agree with you, Cora is a lot more fun now (9 months on the 14th). She never got better when everyone said she would. I think they lie just to give us hope!

  • if i believed in reincarnation, i swear, coming back as a dog doesn’t sound all that bad.

  • Catalina

    That letter was beautiful. Thanks, I really needed that today.

  • I’m glad to hear that everyone is safe and sound. Praise be to cookies!

  • Mo

    May the Frog suit live forever. It is a thing of freakish cuteness that weakens me with the power of its cuteness every time I see it. Peas in a Pod? L’il Devil? Baby Punkin? Pah, I say, to every one! The Frog Suit will rule the universe unto a distant future where all wil bow before the cuteness!

  • Mo

    Of FRANCE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

  • I think if we all had a Chuck the world would be a much happier, more peaceful place.

  • I agree – beautiful letter to Leta. If one day she ever doubts the magnitude of her mother’s love, she’ll be able to look back at these letters and find reassurance.

    I think you need a “sucky comments” disclaimer too, Heather. “Comments that suck will be deleted. Don’t suck.” For the life of me, I’ll never understand why cynical people take the time to post. Must be because their misery loves company.

  • Hank

    Hey where are all the people coming out of the woodwork to excoriate Dooce for letting her dog eat CHOCOLATE?!? Come on internets you can get bent better than this.

  • Kaths

    Thanks for the Chuck picture, Heather! It’s the little things that help when you need them the most.

    Kath xo

  • I’m so glad to hear that Jon is safe and sound. Family is such a blessing. And to a lesser or greater degree, depending on your point of view, so are chocolate caramel cookies.

    NOTE TO SELF: Get chocolate caramel cookie dough at market the way home.

  • Oh, great. It’s more than an hour to lunch now and I’m CRAVING caramel chocolate chip cookies! LOL

  • Colleen

    I know the cookies you speak of, and they are the food of the gods! I love those damn things. The gooshy caramel in the middle is to die for, and they start out as squares and bake into beautiful, round cookies. It is like a cookie miracle!

  • It looks like he gazing wistfully at a plate of cookies. He has the best face.

  • kim

    Can I just copy and paste your letters to Leta into my scrapbook for MY daughter? You have such a way with words. You make me realize I feel things that I don’t even recognize until I see the words. Bless you woman!!

  • Aww poor Chuckles!

  • Amanda B.

    I’m glad to hear that Jon’s ok and all is well.

    I also was very moved by the recent letter to Leta. That’s what I find so wonderful about Heather shares things that are deeply personal…fears, hard times, joy. Not many people have the gahones-(how in the fuck do you spell gahones- ghahonees- whatever) to do that. A lot of times, when they do open up, it’s in this strange self-aggrandizing manner…”dude, i totally got the shingles today but it’s ok cause that’s just part of my plight.”

    Heather tells her stories with a sort of matter of fact humility that is really refreshing.

    Plus she’s so damn funny. (see- chuck goes to the islands, incognito) Awesome.

    Keep on truckin’ MamaDooce.

  • Liisa

    …in one giant snarf.

    Dogs DO snarf, don’t they? Like, just in general, even. I’ve been trying to find the word of the sound of the thing it is that they do….and, alas, you have done it for me.
    Big, goofy, snarrfing freaks. My dog even snarfs in her sleep. Over nothing! Thank you, Heather, for giving my brain a break.

  • Laurie

    Big Gay Sam-
    That is the funniest desktop I have ever seen!
    If I didn’t work at a law firm that would SO be on my computer.

  • Dave

    I also love your letters to Leta. My favorite part of this one – “I love it when you growl like a bear because you know that it makes me laugh.” Thanks for sharing your life with us. (side to Amanda B, they are spelled cajones)

  • Liz

    Thank goodness Jon is OK! I would hate to hear that something really bad happened to my internet family!

    That is a great picture of Chuck, but then all the Chuck pictures are great! He’s such a cool dog!

    I absolutely love the monthly update letters – and that one you just posted brought tears to my eyes! I hope that someday I can be as blessed as you and your family are!

  • Kim
  • I think chuck’s just glad the madness is over, halloween, the elections, all he has to do now is make it through Christmas…….

  • Amanda B.

    Thanks Dave and Kim. I love that word. It’s under-used in my opinion. Also on the sadly ignored list would be: squirreled, trouser snake, and haberdashery.

  • Carol

    Speaking of babies, kids and domestic life, I have a great CD (make that 3 CDs) from a guy named Ralph Covert. The band is called Ralph’s World and it’s great music for kids AND moms and dads. He’s a musician from Chicago and does gigs at Borders Bookstores around the country. He has a website. Not sure the name of it. But moms and dads should check him out.

  • maura

    he has to be one of the cutest dogs!

    carol i have the ralph’s world CDs too, they re great! it’s kids music that doesn’t make you want to climb the walls 🙂

  • sab

    this is a comment about your hair, and how I like it that colour.

  • I think I will have a chocolate carmel cookie to toast your family. Here, here! I’m glad you’re all ok.

  • DoulaBrooke
  • Omeletta

    Yes, Dooce has grande cajones, or maybe I should say grande ovaries, being that she is a woman!

    Speaking of balls, eggs and the like…

    Yiddish & Hebrew: baitzim (wonder if it is pronounced bites ’em?!)
    Spanish: huevos & uovos & cajones
    Of France!!!!!!!: couilles or testicules
    German: Eir or Testikel
    Russian: Yaytsa
    English English: bollocks

    Here’s where it all comes full circle from yesterday:
    “`Ballot` and `bullet` are both derived from words for `balls`. The Greeks dropped a white ball when they favoured a candidate, and a black when they were against. The term `blackballed` comes from this too.”

  • Michael

    Your dog does not look like you or your husband. Which is good. Your little baby girl looks just like Jon. Which also is good because she is an absolute doll. Perhaps you resemble no one familiar — or maybe Dick Cheney on a bad day. But that’s okay; Jesus loves you!

    /s/A Blue State Democrat

  • You made me cry again with your monthly letter to Leta. Can you try not to do that so much?!

  • Chuck is really a cute dog. He looks hung-over from the cookies possibly…

  • LisaG

    I just sampled some Ralph’s World – nice! As a musician and a preschool teacher I am happy – kids music that doesn’t make me hurl – yay! My kids are gonna find their Fe-Fi-Fo-Fum!

    Thanks, Heather for your world too – glad Jon is okay. Makes politics seems damned irrelevant…

  • LisaG

    Make that seem. Politics plural seem. Can’t let it go. Nope!

  • Carol

    Tra-la-la-la!! Listening to that right now. So glad people are discovering Ralph.

    Ralph for president!!!!

    Oops, thats four.

Heather B. Armstrong

Hi. I’m Heather B. Armstrong, and this used to be called mommy blogging. But then they started calling it Influencer Marketing: hashtag ad, hashtag sponsored, hashtag you know you want me to slap your product on my kid and exploit her for millions and millions of dollars. That’s how this shit works. Now? Well… sit back, buckle up, and enjoy the ride.

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