An unfiltered fire hose of flaming condemnation

Lil’ Peanut

  • sab

    Dear Santa,

    This year all I want for Christmas is one of Leta’s chubby cheeks.

  • Tracy

    To clarify, I meant trying kitty litter on greasy hair, not trying road maintenance as a career. Not that there’s anything wrong with that.

  • Tracy: Bus drivers use sawdust to clean up kid-puke. Maybe that’ll work.

  • Too. Cute. Really, Dooce, this is one of your all time best photos. Because you caught The Moment. This photo makes me grin helplessly absolutely every time I look back at it. A is for Adorable.

    “getting jiggy in the cave” — crackin me up!

  • Putting your hair in a ponytail only makes it look greasier. The trick is to pat a bit of baby powder into your part and wear it down. You can go about 7 days this way!!!

  • eco2geek

    After reading Dooce’s post about spooning, I will *not* make a bad joke involving utensils with tines. I won’t even *think* about pronged utensils.


  • eco2geek: that’s ok. We exhausted most of the “prong” jokes with outlet lady a few days ago.

    Today, we’re having a marvelous discussion about cute babies and greasy bearded cavemen.

  • Heather: sent this through yesterday, and going to do it again today to be sure you have seen it – seems relevant to both your posting of today and djb’s of yesterday – sweet and safe dreams to you all, always!
    Heahter – while i am in full agreement with djblurb not offering comment facilities on today’s post – I feel compelled to share that we get the love we allow and in so doing, that we deserve. From what you have all shared with us, you all sound deserving of what appears to be the bliss with which you are blessed. From expired breast milk to the greener grass on the other side of photoshop, I hope all your discoveries serve you as well as it does me. Please thank djblurb for sharing what he did today!

  • my theory is that Leta’s feet don’t like anything touching them; therefore, they reject the socks spontaneously.

  • Amanda B.

    Ahhh spooning.

    Last night I grabbed my husband’s ass in my sleep. He said he almost karate chopped me in self defense.


  • Awwe, this has to be one of my favorite Leta pic’s thus far 🙂

  • shy


    I think most women don’t mind the facial hair once it’s cleared the “tear a layer of skin off some delicate areas” phase.

  • She looks so happy! And so mischievious…

  • Regarding the beard thing: I usually just can’t staaaand a couple days’ worth of stubble on Mr. Ladybug. However, he had a long weekend (four days off in a row) last week and didn’t feel like shaving. I gotta admit, after day four, it was much less prickly and stubble-y, much softer and…yes, veeeery sexy and yummy. I’m now thinking maybe he oughta just go ahead and grow a beard, though I don’t know if his boss will allow it. (He’s a deputy sheriff; must be clean-cut and All Shaven and Shorn, like the priest in The House that Jack Built. Only he would probably be ARRESTING the man, all tattered and torn, instead of marrying him to the maiden all forlorn. But I digress…)

    Oh, and thigh ticklers……*snicker*

  • shy

    but then again, per mihow’s post, I’, a big ol’lesbian so maybe that’s why i don’t have a problem with facial hair.

  • Diana

    Hey from the pics I’ve seen, I think she looks a bit like you when she smiles 🙂

  • Instead of spelling “gay” I spelled “guy”.

    I’m totally giving up for the day.

  • eco2geek

    Is sitting in front of your computer in the morning before you shower the modern equivalent of being a greasy bearded cave man?

    Had to prove to my Job that I’m a ‘Murkan, so I grabbed the old passport that I got when I was 20. I look about 12 years old in the photo. Growing a beard took care of that, but it wouldn’t come in all the way until I was in my late 20’s.

    (At first I had an Indian beard…it was Apache.)

    Now that I’m 41, I’m thinking of shaving it off, but my wife doesn’t want me to.

    One of the gals at work confided that her husband shaved off his mustache without asking her first. And…she was upset! So, men, be sure to ask your POSSLQs before taking such drastic action.

  • She’s adorable and you’re very lucky to have her. Coincidentally, I called my now 15 year old daughter Erin “Peanut” when she was a baby because she looked like a little peanut bundled up in her blanket. I see that Leta is in a sink, but it looks strangely like you have her in an All-Clad roasting pan. I hope not, because OH MAN, I can imagine all the emails you’ll get! LOL


  • Beards are fine, shaven is fine. But what I can’t stand is the in-between phase. My husband’s beard is so coarse it’s like 40-grit sandpaper all over his face after a day or two of no-shave. Once it gets longer, it’s not as bad.
    I’ve threatened to make a chin-stubble-cozy (like a beard hairnet! seen those?)for him that he’ll have to put on before I’ll make out with him. Hee hee. One of these days…

    Now when he gets home from work and shaves right away, it amounts to foreplay. Ah, the exciting life we lead.

  • To Dazed and Confused (#19), who used ‘rapscallion’:

    So THERE you are, Grandpa! Get back to the nursing home!

  • the niffer

    Fish: I’m one those who doesn’t like the beard. My dad has a beard, so kissing my husband avec beard would feel like kissing my dad. That’s just gross.

    To solve this facial hair dilemma, my hub grew a little tuft of fur under his chin for fun. It’s gone now, but it was cute while it lasted.

    Now he has a tuft of hair coming out of his forehead like Tin Tin. But that’s a different story.

  • Tracy

    Fish, I like the sawdust idea – I’d rather have hair that smells like cedar than catbox. Or fabric softener, for that matter.

    My husband is almost constantly in some phase of stubble. After 8 years of marriage, I think I’m just resigned that kissing is kind of a hurts-so-good thing.

  • jm

    OMG! That picture makes me want to hop on my husband RIGHT NOW and get busy makin’ BABIES! Like RIGHT NOW!!!

    But only if they are as cute as Leta. I want to invoke a “cute clause.”

  • Ashley

    Ok, now that we have the bath picture, we need the oh-so infamous picture of a bare bottom baby laying on her stomach on the bed. It’s classic for blackmail as well 🙂

    She’s adorable, and I’m sure you’ve heard that enough times!!! But it really makes me want to have one…..

  • PokeysPlaymate

    Leta has this look on her face like “Hurry up and take the damn picture while I’m still smiling and then get me out of here because I’m cold”

  • when i see pictures like this it makes me think “oh god, maybe i DO want to have another.”

    then i hear the piercing wail from the toddler upstairs who will.not.take.her.nap, and regain full consciousness.

    whew. that was a close one.

  • S Lynn, you will be a great mom. The mothers whose kids look perfect all the times have some issues. My three-year-old son has been wearing Halloween costumes off and on since spring. He’s happy, it’s not hurting anyone, and other kids in the neighborhood are starting to wear them, too. (I mean on days other than Halloween.)

  • Hayley

    The Niffer: my husband does the Tin Tin tuft too! what is with that? except mine doesn’t know who Tin Tin is, so when i call him that the insult is pretty much lost on him.

  • Re: Leta’s sock problem – get some Robeez. They keep the socks on and aren’t quite as ridiculous as full-blown shoes for babies.

  • Carol

    Never heard that… hilarious.

    As for manly facial hair, I like either as long as it either gone or long enough to be soft. I married a very conservative lawyer type, but also dated an artist for 4 years who looked like Grizzly Adams.

    H.I. McDonough (Raising Arizona) would say that Leta looks like a little outlaw. Those sparkly eyes!!

  • It’s like she’s saying, ‘WOO HOO, I peeing in the place you wash those nasty vegetables, MUWAHAHAHA’

    By the way, I just want to point out I was first once! On Sunday Oct. 17…’Self-Portrait With Tongue’

    Yeh, I didn’t have anything witty to say then either….

  • Carol

    Oh, and as for the sock… my son will not wear a coat. It’s OK as long as he’s not uncomfortable or getting hypothermia. But I do know the disapproving looks in the grocery store.

  • Lori

    Oh, I love me some nekkid baby…

    T minus 12 weeks to my own nekkid baby…

  • Hayley: Call your husband Ed Grimley instead of TinTin, as long as we’re talking about greasy hair.

  • AWWWW!!!! I want one!!!!!…although I don’t think it’s such a good idea considering my age…but I still want one!!!

    Leta is ADORABLE as always!

  • 24HrDairyBar

    Did you Photoshop that sink?
    all I can say is “Wow” thats more impressive than the BM!

  • 24HrDairyBar

    Thats Breast Milk, not Bowel Movements!

  • Lori

    Oh, and I’m 28 and my mother STILL calls me ‘peanut’ and ‘bunny rabbit’.

  • Lurkerfinallyposting

    Also my favorite Leta pic! Thanks for sharing!

  • Molly

    Great Picture!

    I have to comment on Go Dog Go!

    My 5 year old is learning to read with this book RIGHT NOW! I too learned to read with this book.. I LOVE this book!!

    The party at the end is great.. and I love the two dogs that are comment on eachothers hat.

    “do you like my hat?”
    “no, I do not like your hat.”

  • pkd

    I’m going to print out Leta’s picture for my desk and tell everyone she’s my granchild. I have enough stories that folks might actually believe me.

    And no, I’m not a stalker, just a crazy lady wanting her own grandchildren.

  • the niffer

    Molly – I gotta get this book. I just bust a gut on that dog conversation. I believe that is exactly how our cats talk to each other. Honest and mostly civil.

    Hayley – follow up to Tin Tin – he’s been growing the tuft for a while, but when Halloween came around it was the perfect op for a Tin Tin costume.

    Poor guy; nobody got his costume. Except for our friend who’s a French teacher. We had to make a “hello my name is Tin Tin” tag.

  • OH. MY. GAWD. So cute. SO Cute!

    And your sink. I bow to you and your shiny sink. You put FlyLady to shame!

  • Oh, that face! How precious!

  • Robeez rock! And they’re made in Canada. Yay, Canada.

    My baby has five pairs. They are the ONLY things that will stay on his squirmy little baby feet. They’ve just come out with little boots too.

    I LOVE a beard on a man, my man in particular. Unfortunately, our three-year-old daughter won’t kiss him when he has a beard, so he won’t grow one. Sigh.

  • The only thing cuter than a baby in the kitchen sink… is the way the baby’s butt cheeks squeak when she moves around in the kitchen sink!

    Your kid’s smile makes me happy. 🙂

  • Brigitte

    She looks more and more like a little person every photo!

    My husband and I decided a while ago to start trying to have kids when we were 33 and 31 respectively (I’m now 29) but I think I’m winning him over to earlier with Leta’s photos. Heh.

  • mihow-

    Mi amor (U Wisconsin at Madison) calls that condition LUG- lesbain until graduation.. maybe other colleges call it that too, I am too old and still in school to be any the wiser….

    You guys are all funny.

  • Kahli

    Okay, UW is not my love but my love went to college there, dumb ass Kahli.

Heather B. Armstrong

Hi. I’m Heather B. Armstrong, and this used to be called mommy blogging. But then they started calling it Influencer Marketing: hashtag ad, hashtag sponsored, hashtag you know you want me to slap your product on my kid and exploit her for millions and millions of dollars. That’s how this shit works. Now? Well… sit back, buckle up, and enjoy the ride.

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