Best way to roast the broomstick. Must try. Five Stars.

Moments before I swallowed her cheeks whole

  • Anne: could you and D Brown take this outside? Your upsetting the baby.

  • the niffer

    I kinda have a hankering on for bacterial infestation.

  • Fish – I’m so ashamed. I can’t believe I just used Dooce’s comments page to fight about the odor of dog feet. Sigh. I’m not having a good week.

    Forgive me, all.

    Let’s get back to talking about Leta and Chuck and Heather’s funny, funny writing.

  • Sheryl

    (respect anne’s comment, but I couldn’t resist)

    Tracy, all I can think of now is:
    Pseudomonas of Love
    Oh yeah it’s Pseudomonas time
    Lovin’ you is really wild
    Oh it’s just a love pseudomonas
    Step right up and get your tickets
    Your love is like Pseudomonas baby, baby I wanna ride Yeah…

  • bow wow wow yippie yo yippie yay

  • what color are leta’s eyes these days? they look hazely here.

  • beachgal

    Wow, she is so cute. How does she feel about long distance relationships? My 12 month old would love to gobble up those cheeks, too!

    Matchmaking already, and I’ve told him he can’t date till he’s 30.

  • I too have a realtor that is so cheesy we call him Cheesy Paul. That’s even how his name is programmed in my phone. And I know one of these days I am going to slip and call him that to his face.

    He likes to say “frickin” a lot, I think because it makes him feel young and tough. Two things he is not. And he has a bad mustache and does that “thumbs up pointin’ atcha” thing waaaay too much.

    I hate him with the white hot intensity of a thousand suns.

    My url link goes to his picture so you can get the full effect.

  • the niffer

    Wow Christy. That pic is screamin cheese.

  • Susie

    I, for one, thank you, Anne. I LIKE my dog’s Frito-smelling feet and had no intention of “treating” them, which made me feel like a very bad dog-mom after reading some of these comments. Let us just let them be. Geez.

  • Christy: Holy shit, he is cheesy.

  • Oh Christy, you poor thing. He is not so cute.

  • We had a cat named cinnamon. Which naturally morphed into cinn-A-mon-EZ, which disgusted my mom b/c it sounded like “pseudomonas”…guess what the cat got called for the last several years of his life?

    (Shouldn’t a mom know better?)

    Beautiful chubby cheeks! I do NOT want another baby…I Do NOT…(repeat until believed)

  • Baby envy!! Baby envy!!

  • eco2geek

    Wow, who knew there was such widespread Realtor (R)* hatred out there?

    Just because your Realtor (R) is a douche-bag doesn’t mean ALL Realtors (R) are douche-bags.

    Like my wife, who’s a Realtor (R).

    You insensitive clod.

    Did you know that the term Realtor (R) is trademarked? 🙂

  • Sheryl

    Maybe Leta is thinking:
    “I don’t feel like crawlin but –
    Mein Fuhrer, I can walk!”

  • eco2geek

    For the love of Christ, will *someone* in the know please tell us what characters do what type of formatting in this blog’s software?

  • Christy, that picture says cheese a thousand times. Made me laugh out loud.

    Speaking of cheese, Leta is thinking, ” …Are those cheddar fish crackers? Mama! I love you!”

  • Gretchen

    It’s the first time I’ve ever thought she looked like YOU rather than a xerox of Jon!

  • Rainman

    Definitely don’t see the word “douche-bag” anywhere but in eco2geek’s post. Definitely not. No douche. No bag. Not in Dooce’s post on realtor guy. Not in comments. No reference to douchebags. Definitely. Except in eco2geek’s post. Definitely.

    Uh oh. Thirteen minutes to Judge Wapner and ‘The People’s Court.’

    K-Mart sucks.

  • More Leta thoughts:

    *playing with TIVO remote again*

    OOOHHHHH, so THAT’s what “reconvening the procedure” means…

  • GirlA

    Leta: Chuck! Duuuuuude. Can I have a hit off that too?

  • Tracy

    For the record, our Realtor ® in San Diego was a golden goddess – 100% sweetheart, patient and thorough, and yet an ultimate ass-kicker in negotiation with the sellers. When our house closed, she gave us this gorgeous flower pot with our last name and new address engraved in it. If anyone in central/north San Diego needs a reference, let me know…

  • Her eyes are GORGEOUS.

  • HDC

    Damn, you have the most sickeningly adorable family on the planet. Either that or the new meds your doc has got you on are working far, far better than ever expected. Can you share a bit ? 😉

    Its good to see you doing so well! It puts a smile on my face everyday when you post these great little blurbs of happiness and pictures melting with cuteness. It makes the scary

  • HDC

    bah, silly clickable trackpad! posted half a minute too soon…

    I meant to finish by saying that all the good stuff you post makes the scary prospect of spawning off my own child processes seem that much less scary =). So much goodness yet to be had….

  • Damn Christy! You’re realtor is yummy!

  • How is it possible that she gets cuter every day?!?

  • c

    While discussing the fact that our dog’s feet DO smell like fritos, my 18 y/o son said he noticed that his own feet sometimes smell like microwaved buttered popcorn.

    Christy’s realtor picture looks like he could be a features columnist for the Onion.

  • GirlA

    ooo baby
    Your stinky feet are giving me the munchies.

  • I cannot believe how much that child looks like her father. She’s beautiful.

  • A few quick notes:

    1. Tell Jon I am glad he spit out that damnbug Lexus or NOT no one should have to swallow a moving bug (or a dead one)

    2. Your realtor is a sleaze but really who cares if you get the house of your dreams.

    3. Thanks for the great tip on exercising a dog. We have Marley who we affectionaly call the Labradore Leaveit. She does not retreive either. I mean at all. I will throw the ball – she will run to it, lie down and chew on it. I will try your tip. I hope anti anxiety pills work as well as the anti psychotics!!

  • whoo hoo…I am…#133…

    All these cute baby picture are only giving my wife ammunition to have a kid of her own…not necessarily by me, if I don’t cooperate.

  • Oh my, Christy, your realtor looks a bit like Ricky Gervais from The Office. Too bad he’s the real deal, tho. Because Ricky is fucking brilliantly funny.

  • ?

    Wonder what is going to happen when the web master at Century 21 Charleston IL finds all the hits that come from

  • christy

    Hmmm … I wonder if they pay that much attention. It’s a very small office.

  • Sheryl

    Maybe they have a sophisticated web analytics package tied into their Marketing & Business Information Systems – calculating hits on his name and sales, comparing them with others’ performance ratios.

    Sorry this is the kind of crap I do all day long.

  • eco2geek

    Sheryl — Very doubtful. These Realtor (R) types are private contractors who typically have to pay for everything, including their desk space and their Web sites. The only numbers his office cares about are his sales numbers.

    Do *you* know how what formatting marks this blog software uses? I got the asterisks for *bold* part and the underlines for _italic_ part and the — em dash part and the (R) marcas registrada part, so far. I think.

    mihow — Love your blog. You and your husband both look so damn _young_. Did you move back to the East Cost?

  • Is Leta a red head or is it the light? :-/

  • victoria

    So sorry! I was one of the people who sent the annoying dog-training emails post-chewing episode . . . of course I didn’t realize that you were being deluged with hundreds of other similar well-meaning, annoying emails/comments.

    Will work on my readerly etiquette.

  • eco2geek: how do the em dash and registered mark work? share the wealth, please.

  • Amy

    Heather, if there are any leftover cheeks, please put them in some MICROWAVEABLE Tupperware and save them for me. They don’t look like they need BBQ sauce, either.

  • eco2geek: Thanks for the kindness. We do look young. He, more so than myself. :] But we’re not as young as we appear. I’m in my 30s. But I did rob the cradle to a certain degree. (I have him by 4 years).

    We move back to NYC on Monday from SF. Driving Interstate 40. Gonna hit up the southwest instead of going straight down the middle.

  • eco2geek

    Oh, the em dash is just two dashes — in a row. And the (r) is just an r in parentheses. From which one might guess that (c) and ™ work the same way. Or not.

    Maybe we should just leave this as a fun process of discovery, rather than having it laid out. 🙂 It may just be “Textile”: on Movable Type.

  • 0123

    So, like what the fuck is wrong with Realtor® saying something about hot chicks? Seems to me he’s on safe ground with that comment.

  • this is so informative. very interesting.

  • I feel like the least loving wife today because last night my husband coughed up a lung right next to me and I punched him in the stomach and told him to take some god damn delsym.

    Life is still good though….right?

  • kids can turn redheads. i was born with dishwater blonde hair, started coming in quite dark red when i was about 13 years old. it’s completely red now*L*

  • 80

    That last “thinking” made me all warm and fuzzy inside. Shmoopy.

Heather B. Armstrong

Hi. I’m Heather B. Armstrong, and this used to be called mommy blogging. But then they started calling it Influencer Marketing: hashtag ad, hashtag sponsored, hashtag you know you want me to slap your product on my kid and exploit her for millions and millions of dollars. That’s how this shit works. Now? Well… sit back, buckle up, and enjoy the ride.

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