An unfiltered fire hose of flaming condemnation

Leta’s first mashed potatoes experience

  • Hey Dooce! Love the new masthead. Speaking of trees… since I’m single and also too frustrated to string Christmas lights, I bought one of those fake ones with the LIGHTS ALREADY ATTACHED! It opens like an umbrella and the whole thing is a done deal within like 10 minutes. Actually, it looks real. I know it’s awful, but there WOULD BE NO TREE otherwise.

  • Marie

    So Karo, Stacy, Heather2’s step-mom, and I are all Texans….YEEE HAAAWW! I’m sure we can all appreciate Dooce’s posts when she comments on her southern accent!

    And yeah, I was a sobbing mess after ‘Oprah’ yesterday too. The first story (the one about the Spanish teacher’s estranged husband who came into her class and stabbed her) freaked the SHIT out of me! I’m a Spanish teacher, and my ex-husband is a jackass! (not that psychotic, though)

  • Yummy! Not the mashed potatoes, those yummy legs.

  • She looks like she’s enjoying the experience – I’m not sure if you’ll enjoy the resulting diaper change though!

  • mrs. geoge #2

    Thanks, Karo, on the tip about clearing the cache. I don’t know what that is, and I am a new mac user, so I would have TOTALLY been missing out on the awesome new toilet masthead. You are my new hero.

    I am disappointed in the lack of mess associated with Leta’s first mash-a-potaties experience (cute childhood moniker that followed me into adulthood)

  • kate

    proportionately, my thighs are about the same as leta’s. how come mine aren’t that damn cute???*sigh* leta is such a doll!

  • ella’s ma

    Let us all remember what it’s like to love carbs (i.e. potatoes, pasta, bread) unapologetically, like babies do.
    God bless the spud!

  • Yes! thanks for the Oprah post. I didn’t watch yesterday but have bawled my eyes out many times. That woman is a manipulative genius!

    I think my favorite recent episode was the one with the woman’s dirty house and the piles and piles of dog poop everywhere though. Not as heartwarming.

    ps – Leta is beautiful.

  • jes

    i’ve finally made it! i’ve finally made it to the point that i’ve witnessed the Change Of The Masthead.

    i’m so-o-o-o-o “in” now!

  • LOOK AT LETA’S LEGS! I just want to pick her up and squeeze her. Honestly, could she be any more adorable?

  • Wouldn’t it be nice if chubby thighs were considered cute after the age of 10?

    And thanks for the reassurance on the mashed potatoes…I’ll let her know SHE’S the whacko…

  • Cool … thats the real taste experience …i would like to see all itens on your kitchen …its possible?? heh

  • Mrs.Stray

    You look so pissed off!!! Long day with the folks? Cuz that does NOT look like your kitchen.

  • I love the new design! If you ever get a chance to read this, please share your workouts with the rest of us. 😀

  • After careful scrutiny of Leta’s outfit (awesome horse shirt, no pants in sight), I conclude this is from Thanksgiving at Chuck’s grandma’s house. But where are all the charming knickknacks?

  • Mir

    I am experience an inexplicable craving for fat, juicy DRUMSTICKS now….

  • Sweet! I’ve never been anyone’s hero before!

    And WTG on switching to a Mac. Soon we will take over the wooorrrllddd, bwa ha ha!

    *rubbing dry hands together in glee*

  • Darcie

    I bet Leta would love some Swippatayduh Pah! (That would be Sweet Potato Pie to you non-Southerners.)

  • I love Oprah so much I wish she was my mom…seriously. If you knew my mom you would say that too.

    vgmom – whatever.

  • Mash potatoes are just the best excuse for butter and salt.

    Wouldn’t it be great to go pantsless sometimes like we did as kids? Somedays I just feel so restricted.

    I forgot to express my congrats the other day on Leta’s foot breakthrough – way to go little bird!

  • I’ve been a faithful Oprah fan since the WAY old days (the 1980’s…GAH!) I’ve noticed lately that Oprah seems stressed out.

    Maybe I’m projecting. I don’t know.

    Dooce, you look grimly determined during the mashed potato feeding. Leta seems to be staring at your chest and thinking,”Sigh. That was so much easier than this spoon and high chair thing.”

  • Murphy, the mirror she used reverses images. :0)

  • Ah, what relief, I can out myself now as well as an avid oprah watcher. If dooce does it, it must be cool. I NEVER cry though, no, never, never.

  • JP

    Sadly, I am at work during Oprah (and have yet to convince Hubby that TiVo is a necessity) but I have to admit that the St. Jude commercials have left me in puddles of tears. I guess that’s the point.

  • Are those pistachios?

  • Micheline P.

    Heather must have just finished getting the HTML run-around from that hair-growing-out-headband-wearing woman (Jackson’s mom)…no wonder she looks so pissed! Great & wonderful mastheads on BOTH sites. :O)

  • Anna

    On a tangent completely unrelated to this photo (although that kid is adorable), do you realize that Google brings up 10,900 hits for the word ‘dooced’?

    You’re freaking awesome.

  • where does that little door go? a secret passage to Beth’s house, maybe?

  • i had to tell someone about the heroes show, too. i relayed the story on the little boy and the dogs and we all had tears in our eyes. that little kid killed me. and that woman was so brave.

  • Kano

    This is sort of off the subject. Why doesn’t what looks like the kitchen area match your newly remodeled kitchen?

  • Is it me or does Heather look REALLY serious?

  • Andrea

    I LOVE those thighs!
    Okay, I know this isn’t a homework hotline but I’m desperate. Has anyone ever read the hell that is Finnegans Wake? I have a final on it tomorrow and i am about to rip every strand of hair out of my head one by one.

  • Heather,
    I admire you. I love that you put up pictures and just let people comment. I posted a picture on my blog today and had to set the picture to ‘private’ because it got 43 views in like 3 minutes. It just creeped me out. Of course it was a picture of my daughter with about 15 scarves shoved in the back of her pants. I thought it was funny because it looks unnatural—but I was creeped out by how many people were looking at it.
    I admire you.

    P.S. Try feeding Leta carrots then slip a spoonful of applesauce in when she thinks it’s going to be carrots…if she’s anything like Kara, the look on her face will be classic! It’s been 11 years since I did that and I still get a good laugh out of thinking about it.

  • galt

    based on this picture, maybe we should all comment on the new design of the ‘mashed-head’

    hahahahahah….(sound of breaking glass)…hey what are you guys doing? get…get outta my house…arrrrrggh.

    (sound of scuffling and mumbled voices) sir, we’re going to have to take you in…we’ve had reports of bad puns being released from this location and have finally caught you in the act. ‘mashed-head’?!…sir, say goodbye to your tater tots, cuz you’re going away for a long time.

  • galt

    seriously, though, nice mashed-head.

  • Emily

    Kano and others –
    Lulu already pretty much pointed this out.
    Heather is wearing Red. She is serving her daughter mashed potatoes. She is not in her own kitchen.
    Thanksgiving was last week.
    Heather posted pictures of Thanksgiving which did not take place at her own home.

    Hmmm. Are you seeing a pattern here?

  • Emily,
    What’s the pattern?
    I give up.

  • heidi

    ..and yestersday’s posted daily photo was taken in front of a MIRROR.

  • victoria

    What new masthead?

  • Carol

    The pattern is that some of us are pathetic hourly dooce readers and so we’ve seen all these things before. The pic is from Thanksgiving at her mom’s house with the star spangled run that is so wrong and a piggie doing a peppermint-fuck.

  • Emily–Are you saying that Heather doesn’t REALLY have a new kitchen?


  • Carol

    that would be “rug” not run.

  • Sheryl

    Hi, Carol, OMG you crack me up.
    Such a dainty southern belle. I love it.

  • Carol

    Fuck yeah, I’m dainty!!! Hey Sheryl!! Actually I gots ta give props to Amanda B. for the peppermint-fuck word.

    How ya doin’?

  • Tree

    I cried my freaking eyes out watching Oprah yesterday. It was one of those (as Oprah calls it) ugly cries.

  • Sheryl

    Preeeetty good. I didn’t have much time for doocin today. Tasks for which I actually had to use brain cells for long periods of time. How bout you?

  • Those sock are BARELY on!
    Anyway, Fussy looks pretty damn good.

  • Andrea

    I cried during Oprah too! I only watched until the “last letters from home” bit, and once I felt a sob coming on I knew I couldn’t let my boyfriend catch me crying because of Oprah AGAIN.

    God that was a sad show.

  • Marie

    Anybody know what today’s ‘Oprah’ is about? Because if it’s gonna be another tear-jerker, then I think I’ll attend my parent-teacher conference instead of pretending to get sick at the last moment……

  • Joe

    If you never smile, how is Leta going to learn to smile?

Heather B. Armstrong

Hi. I’m Heather B. Armstrong, and this used to be called mommy blogging. But then they started calling it Influencer Marketing: hashtag ad, hashtag sponsored, hashtag you know you want me to slap your product on my kid and exploit her for millions and millions of dollars. That’s how this shit works. Now? Well… sit back, buckle up, and enjoy the ride.

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