Best way to roast the broomstick. Must try. Five Stars.

Here in this photo she is wearing pink, so please stop sending me email telling me that I don’t dress her in pink enough

  • aha! you really do read your email. 😉

  • uh, wait. not that i sent the “pink missive” or anything, because i’m not a pink wearer. i prefer red. and purple. and blue.

  • Delicious.

    You really don’t dress your baby in all black enough, Heather. Where’s the head-to-toe goth blackness? What kind of MOTHER are you?

  • Caroline

    Oh and I also think Leta has (very pretty) septic tank poopy red hair. Cool.

  • Carolyn

    Oh, oh, is she banging those together? It looks like it. My son, just about her age, LOVES to bang things together. Wood or plastic blocks, it make sense because they actually go ‘bang bang’ but he’ll do this with *socks*.

  • Caroline

    Carolyn — people call me Carolyn all the time; do people call you Caroline? And doesn’t it annoy you?

  • She’s like a wee Molly Ringwald.

    Her wrist and neck creases crack me up. They make her look like a fully articulated doll.

  • Elizabeth

    I read this today from the BabyCenter and had to make sure you saw it too, because it’s SO Leta! (LOVE the pink, by the way — and I have two BOYS! (Who I dress in lots of ORANGE!))

  • I can’t be bothered to read all the other responses. 😛

    That said, is her hair RED? It always looked brown to me before. Awesome. My kiddo is a redhead (well, strawberry blonde but STILL), they’re characters.

  • Hey Dooce! I just got this joke in my email and thought of your Mom:

    An Avon lady was sitting in her cubicle at work when suddenly she
    had to ‘let go’ some air. She promptly reached into her bag and sprayed
    air with
    an Avon Pine-Scented deodorizer.

    Later, a gentleman co-worker went into her cubicle. He began to
    sniff. Finally, the Avon lady asked, “Do you smell something?”
    “Well, yes I do” he replied. “What does it smell like?”
    The bemused gentleman answered, “I’m not sure, but it kinda smells
    like someone shit under a Christmas tree!”

    Great shot! I LOVE today’s picture!

  • Carolyn & Caroline,

    Comedian Brian Regan has a bit about that. He says,

    “Carolyn and Caroline. Don’t call them the wrong name, because they have a thing about that.”

    “It’s CaroLINE, Brian. It’s CaroLINE.”

    “It’s BriONNNNN.”

    Brian Regan be oh so funny.

  • Elizabeth

    Your “thinking” from 12/12 has me laughing to the point of tears. Just thought you should know!

  • Caroline

    Oh, and check this out (from

    –If being part of America’s Favorite Quiz Show® sounds like a dream job, then you should try out for the JEOPARDY! Clue Crew!–

    You should totally sign up.

  • Caroline

    Shiz — it is REALLY annoying. It’s like calling Shania Shaneeya. But who’s Brian Regan? Never heard of him.

  • I can see that, Caroline. Even though my name is Sharon, a lot of people call me Shannon.

    Not a lot of people know Brian Regan, which is a shame, because he’s a BRILLIANT comedian. You can find him at, and even though his cd has cheap design on the cover, the content is hilarious! I found the whole thing on Limewire.

  • That’s funny Caroline, because I call Shania Twain- Satan.

  • Caroline

    Does anyone else share my obsessive love of those Rubberband Man Office Max commercials? Especially the new holiday one! Oh, and Matt Damon is *hot*. The first Bourne movie is on USA if anyone’s interested. Just thought you should know, don’t yell at me for my multiple off-topic posts.

  • Caroline

    Amanda – Yea, she is. I didn’t mean Shania Twain, I was just giving an example of how freakin annoying it is.

  • Carol

    Ha!! Amanda B. – you are funny as shit, girrfreeund.

  • jm

    Oh no! Mary Kay colors!!!

    But day-um, that kid is a cutie.

    I’m catching up and I read the post about the ceilings. It totally made me laugh. Since the DH is 6’7″ , we have to be more “aware” of the height restrictions on tossing children.

  • Susie

    Satan? I rearrange the little wooden blocks at my mother-in-law’s decorated-for-Christmas house from S-A-N-T-A to S-A-T-A-N. She hates that a lot. I also rearrange NOEL to LEON. She just thinks that’s weird. And off-topic.

  • jm

    Susie– Do you know that you can also use “LONE”? My sister’s middle name is Noel and she has those blocks. Poor kid. We’re always messing them up.

  • Caroline

    Susie – I’ll keep that in mind when I go home for the holidays 🙂

  • green is the new pink

  • She is a beautiful little girl, no matter what color she wears.

  • Hi Heather, I know this will probably get lost in the shuffle … but I wanted to thank you for sharing your unique and hilarious perspective with us. On days like today when I want to curl into the oblivion of sleep b/c of depression, your funny little stories serve as a pick me up.

    So, thank you. 🙂

  • lena

    not only does she wear pink and brush her own hair but she’s using hairspray and deodorant! so advanced, you must be doing something right, inspite of that smack on the ceiling in the basement (so funny btw)!

  • Jill


  • Leah

    Funny! I just discovered this web site that’s all pictures taken in mirrors:

  • haha great photo! at first i thought you had brought out leta’s twin sister…that…you…keep hidden =) great shot!

  • Melynda

    I dispise pink, so if we ever have a daughter she’ll be in purples but never pinks. *shudders*

    Personal preference though, Leta looks gorgeous as always! 🙂

  • JP

    Why is pink such a MUST when you have girls??

    When you have such pale skin like I do and you have daughters that have beautiful golden brown skin…you dress them in ALL the colors YOU CANNOT WEAR.

  • anna jr.

    i just went back and re-read all your monthly newsletters to leta and i cannot believe #1 how much time has passed already and #2 how grown up she is getting.

    just LOOK at her.


  • Julie

    Hey, it’s ok to have a girly-girl! If Leta is a girly-girl, she will be no matter what you do to her, no matter what color you put her in now, and no matter what beauty products you put in her hands or on her face/hair/body. I was TOTAL tomboy until college. My mom hated it. I wore cowboy boots with my dresses to church. My little one is 18 months old, already LOVES to look at herself in the mirror, primps and preens, “combs” her hair, picks out her clothes and loves when we make a big deal out of them, etc. Dolls galore, much to Daddy’s chagrin. You can have fun with it – the other day she and I had a Mommy/Daughter “Spa” day and had a big old bubble bath and then “combed” each other’s hair. HEAVEN!

  • I was reading somewhere that the convention of pink=girl, blue=boy is fairly recent. In the 1800s (if the article was to be believed) pink was believed to be a strong color and blue a more submissive, tranquil color, so boys would wear pink and girls would wear blue. Personally, if I ever have a girl, I’d probably just put her in a shirt that reads “I have LABIA!!”

  • When my daughter was a baby I HATED the color pink. I even had my girlfriend print on my babyshower invites that I hated the color pink. Well now that she is almost 5 she wants to see all the pictures of her when she was a baby…. and of course she always ask, “mommy who is that little boy?”

  • I think the pale pink Leta’s in is nicer than pepto pink. It’s pretty.

    But you can do ANYTHING YOU WANT TO, HEATHER, because she is YOUR BABY. Even if you dress her in gold lamé, I promise not to say anything because if the great Heather B. Armstrong dresses her frog baby in gold lamé, then there is a reason for it, damnit.

  • George Lover

    I’m digging what looks like a glassblock window. They are SO cool.

    And I’m also a fan of the Rubberband man commercials, but haven’t seen the holiday one.

    As for baby clothing, is it too soon to break out the “Mommy wants a new president” t-shirts?

  • George Lover, it’s NEVER too soon.

  • happy to live in one of the blue states

    honestly, you let far too many people influence your life. Including me.

  • She looks so stinking cute in pink. And it’s official, she now has more hair than my almost 3 year old daughter. I’m so jealous.

  • Caroline

    There’s a website where you can see the commercial. I think it’s Or you could just google rubberband man commercial.

  • Dre (#91), Looks like an Aveda product to me, too.

    Damn, Leta is cute. Teach her to give butterfly kisses with those long eyelashes.

  • There’s something WRONG with being Metrosexual??? I LOVE my not-gay, metrosexual husband!

  • Shiz, there’s nothing wrong with being Metrosexual. If you saw how badly I need a manicure, you’d know how un-Metrosexual I am. Ok, maybe the fact that I know I need a manicure gives me away as a metro-wannabe. Busted!

  • I love babies who play with toiletries. If my daugher isn’t holding a toothbrush or a box of tampons, she’s just not happy.

  • vim

    Nobody Else Wants To Mention This So I Will. The best masthead of all time has not turned up in the Masthead Archive. It is missing. Not There. Just when I wanted to show it to someone. I wonder if the Wayback Machine has a copy.

  • Lenae

    I have to say, she does look beautiful in pink.

  • Best masthead of all time? Which one?

    Why am I hogging the comments today?

  • Danika

    Probably the cowbell one Shiz.

    I think this is my favorite picture of Leta ever.

Heather B. Armstrong

Hi. I’m Heather B. Armstrong, and this used to be called mommy blogging. But then they started calling it Influencer Marketing: hashtag ad, hashtag sponsored, hashtag you know you want me to slap your product on my kid and exploit her for millions and millions of dollars. That’s how this shit works. Now? Well… sit back, buckle up, and enjoy the ride.

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