An unfiltered fire hose of flaming condemnation

Christmas at The Blue Plate

  • Is that a Wurlizter jukebox I see? I’m jealous.

  • That tree is neat-a-reeno!

  • Dooce, was this taken at your house? Are you a “Blue Christmas” kind of gal?

  • I have no doubt that “The Blue Plate” is a diner-style restaurant, and that is someone paying at the counter behind Dooce. Not Jon.

    Kieran: Holy shit, that was funny!

  • Definitely one for the Mirror Project. Or not. Make the Mirror Project come here and beg for it.

  • Irrylyn

    Wonderful pic! You have such a great eye for these things!

  • Ah…I am a dork and had to search…

    I rest my case. Listed under ‘greasy’…and appropriately enough, in an article about hangover cures!

  • In the ornament, the carpet looks Grinch Green. I love you to death Heather, but please tell me that this is an illusion and that you are not raising a child on Grinch Green Carpet! 🙂

  • Oooh fabby tree!!!

  • OceanCity

    Article in this morning’s NY Times – a blogger scored a book deal based on her blog, it will be “a wry, downbeat memoir of postpartum depression”. But it ain’t Dooce.

  • Em

    I have a VERY similar photo of me from last year. Only the balls were gold. Hee, BALLS.

  • Silver Balls, Silver Balls. It’s Christmas Time at Heather’s

  • *slaps forehead*

    Oh, geez. Of COURSE this is not your house. I mean, good grief, you titled the damn thing, “Christmas at the Blue Plate.” I guess I thought you were just being witty about the blue tree. I feel like an idiot now, but at least I’m not alone.

    And thanks for the link, Sarah.

  • meilaan

    People, it’s not the DC70, it’s the Dooce. =)

    Nice shot!

  • meilaan


  • I love the Blue Plate… except sometimes their coffee tastes really burnt.

  • Molly

    That is an awesome picture, thank you for sharing!

  • Stacy

    Are you saying that you know when you period is going to start to THE HOUR? Freak! I’m lucky if I can guess it within a 3 or 4 day range.

  • she’s dreaming of a regular christmas.

  • Beautiful picture.

  • You guys are good, I couldn’t see anything. Though, now that i made it larger I see astroturf and is she leaning on either a) a jukebox or b) a giant 49ers football helmet?

  • i love it. 🙂

  • popalop

    I’ve been a lurker here at the House of Dooce, but I had to post to say SWEET! about this picture. Thank you. It completely rocks.

  • I think Heather left a comment on my website!!! Yeah! I don’t know if it was her or not(It was posted anonymously, but the comment included the word f-u-c-k. I totally freaked a beak!

  • nothing like taking pictures of balls.

    lol *snickers like a 6th grader*

    …. gives a whole new meaning to BLUE BALLS, doesn’t it?

    … apparently I’m on a roll… and forgive me if the jokes have already been done.. I haven’t read the other comments!


    (mine officially began 1/2 an hour ago at the end of my final exam! yay!)

  • Are you people all CRAZY? This photo was NOT taken at her house! Gah!

    The only one around here that has an aluminum Christmas tree is ME! Go see for yourself. Ha.

  • Zach

    Ha ha, nice pic. The Blue Plate totally owns my soul. I’d surely die of hang overs every Sunday morning if not for the Blue Plate special.

    They would probably dig this pic, you should send it to them.

  • That’s cool. Are you at a diner?

  • My grandmother had a silver tree… I love it!

  • hugs from one girl to another because as a girl i know your pms pain. men know nothing. men suck. no, they don’t. i’m sorry.

    but really they do. sorry men.

  • Miss Kimberly is definitly right, Swank Christmas Style.

    Looks really nice.

  • The thumbnail made me think of “Lost Highway,” which is the first movie that taught me to see film noir drunk (or whatever) first, and then go see it sober. It somehow makes more (less) sense that way.

    Now I’m all in the mood to deconstruct everything I read or see. Is there really an author? Is that Dooce in the ornament, or just my reconstruction of shapes into my own construction of what I believe is Dooce? Is Dooce the sum of her parts, and has the text of the website reconstructed her as someone else? Is Dooce the reconstructed text, and Heather B. Armstrong the reality?

    It’s been six years since my last grad school class, and I STILL GOT IT! Screw you, Derrida.

  • I agree, sometime before it’s over we need to see the WHOLE tree. Happy Holidays Dooce!

  • Zach

    Sucking > Monthly Demon Possession (a.k.a. PMS)

    Men 1 Women 0

  • ella’s ma

    There’s something so kitschy and comforting about a silver-tinsel Christmas tree.
    I L.O.V.E. this time of year.

  • Ok. At first glance at the mini-main page image I thought that was a pregnancy stick test. Initial response was oh GOD, poor woman! (from a single woman how-the-fuck-does-she-do-it perspective…) and Second thought was “Yes, apparently I must think you WILL put ANYTHING on the web ;)” nice pic!

  • JP

    May you and yours have a happy holiday…and may your period start in a timely manner so that all may be right with the world within your household.

  • that’s it…i’m getting the Nikon! It’s impossible to get cool pictures like that with my camera!

  • Slim

    Lovely…I admire your random style and the way you keep your readers guessing. I don’t celebrate Christmas but I would still like to wish you and yours a HAPPY HOLIDAY.

  • andy

    this is a good entry for mirror- mirror

  • andy

    oops. I mean The Mirror Project

    (name and site has changed)

  • MY HUSBAND: Oh, look at that. Derrida died today.
    ME: Good.

  • ALI

    By the way Jon already posted a pic on mirrorproject almost identical to this one…to prove to their family they actually had a tree.

  • Hillary

    I’m studying right now for a final on postmodern lit. Your blurb made me crack up.

  • Super photo.

    There is some brief, odd satisfaction in that moment when you realize that the irrational need to scream/cry/throwstuff is because you’re about to shed your uterus lining.

    Kind of a “phew, there is a reason I’m about to be an uberbitch. Now get the fuck out of my way.”

  • Heidi

    what an awesome picture!

  • Per Ali’s message, clink on the header of this comment for the link to Jon’s version of Ornament Photography from 2001. It’s cool how the distortion makes Jon look a little like Humphrey Bogart.

  • Adaire

    The Blue Plate, as in the Blue Plate Diner? Why are you making me miss Salt Lake City so? I never thought I would be jealous of anyone living in Salt Lake City (we moved to Vegas last January). Your posts are making me miss home.

  • Top 100?

  • Did you read the Sarah Brown entry about decorating the other day? (link above) “I can’t stand THE RAIN!” That was so awesome.

Heather B. Armstrong

Hi. I’m Heather B. Armstrong, and this used to be called mommy blogging. But then they started calling it Influencer Marketing: hashtag ad, hashtag sponsored, hashtag you know you want me to slap your product on my kid and exploit her for millions and millions of dollars. That’s how this shit works. Now? Well… sit back, buckle up, and enjoy the ride.

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