An unfiltered fire hose of flaming condemnation

How long can he hold in the smoke?

  • Paradice hee hee, I guess I’m ready for the casino tonight. Pair of Dice. I will learn how to spell someday.

  • mrs. george #2

    Hey Girl.A, what’s a frogurt? Are those people your grandparents?

    “They were like brothers to me. Not like real brothers, but brothers in the way black people say it.”

  • The Inspector Gadget theme song gets DL every time.

  • That stupid Ashley Simpson song, “Pieces of me” is the stupid song that I WAKE UP with in my head.

    (I have two 11 year old girls that like to play it while getting ready for school)

  • Carol

    frogurt = frozen yogurt?


  • That was a picture of me and my dog.

    Simpson’s Tree House of Horror
    *The frogurt is also cursed.*

  • I will obey your dog, Mugatu, if you will in turn obey my doocebag.

    Domo Arigatu [sic], Mister Mugatu

  • mrs. george #2

    How freaking lazy do you have to be to find that the two words FROZEN + YOGURT are too much for your weary tounge to spew? Must we shorten EVERYTHING? Yes, and I am also an acronym hater. RFLMAO, SAHM, R2D2, BOC… I just don’t understand any of it.

  • mrs. george #2

    You think you’re too cool for school, but I got a newsflash for you, Walter Cronkite. You aren’t.

  • My friend Noelle has that ear thing too, but only one side. Doctors saw it in an ultrasound and told her mother she had a serious deformity and that she should abort. Turns out all that was “wrong” with Noelle’s ear was a flat diveted spot. Her parents used to tell her that she was so yummy that God took a bite.

  • Carol

    “Don’t you know I’m *LOCO* ‘ese?

    BTW, what is ‘ese?

  • But the all time killer is Tom’s Diner ala Suzanne Vega.

    I am sitting
    In the morning
    At the diner
    On the corner

    I am waiting
    At the counter
    For the man
    To pour the coffee…


  • Sheeze …..some weave chump is trying to steal my ideas already…LOL….Thanks for pointing that one out Fish!
    Guess maybe I am in a good mood today cuz its Friday. TGIF

  • Amanda B.: it’s not the lyrics that do it, it’s the Doo doo doo doo doo doo doo doo, Doo doo doo doo doo da doo doo.

    And thanks, by the way, for embedding that in my brain this morning. I avoid that song like the plague…

  • I am saucy this morning. Please forgive my temporary evilness.


  • ese

    Homeboy Homie Holmes Vato
    (if you are hispanic) Otherwise is an insult.

    Insane in the membrane

  • The worst earworm (my favorite term for a song stuck in your head) is the “I Dream of Jeannie” theme song. It gets stuck in an infinite loop in my head for days. Oh, shit; Girl.A is going to google images of earworms, and then I won’t be able to eat lunch. Sorry folks.

  • Kano, I did notice your jovial mood today.
    I found myself re-reading your comment looking for hidden sarcasm. 😉

    I love Friday. I hate my job.
    …do-do-dodo-do do doo-do, I am looking in the windo…do-do..thanks, Amanda B.

  • Tom’s Diner? not so bad.

    LUKA? Don’t get me started.

  • Amanda Hooker and her small Quarter Horse “Saucy”, are a hard team to beat…

    Do do doo dit,
    do do dood it, doot doot doot doot do dit
    I am sitting on the sofa, there’s a TV in the corner
    I am watching Major Nelson, he is played by Larry Hagman (Jeannie!)
    And he found a little bottle, and out popped Barbara Eden
    But she couldn’t show her belly button, all she did was blink

    (Dr. Bellows: Uh, Good Evening Major Nelson)
    Tony Nelson works at NASA with suspicious Dr. Bellows
    And there’s also Roger Healy, who would become Howard Borden (Jeannie!)
    And Jeannie always means well, but they get in wacky trouble
    She folds her arms and blinks her eyes, it’s kind of like Bewitched

  • I live upstairs from you, guess you may have seen me …


  • I find this muchas scarier than ear worms.

  • Girl A: I can tell you from recent experience that that is NOT where babies come from.

  • Not even zomie hawaiian babies.

  • So intense! No wonder you’re using Boohbah for 17 minutes in heaven. Or something.

  • Sheryl- Amanda Hooker. I love that. Is that like T.J. Hooker- cause i love me some William Shatner.

    Fish- get any sleep?

  • Fish, I may have to hunt you down for putting the Luka song in my head.
    I didn’t mind the Tom’s Diner.

    And Girl A., what would we do without you? That is FAR scarier than any earworm ever could be.

  • handsome smoke holder. are you sure it’s not bong smoke? hmm.

  • I love my AmandaB. BTW have you seen “Amanda’s Guardians”?
    *Dude your posse is HUGE.*

    TJ Hooker? umm, I can give you some Tambourine Man joy.

  • claudia

    oh, thats weird. i didnt know what you were talking about before, but that totally looks like what he is doing.

  • Amanda B.: sleep? I don need no steenking sleep! Sleep is for people who need to stay awake at the jobs during the day.

  • Emily

    Fish. re: “the jobs”
    Can I get one of those thingies?


    Amanda B: Does your husband know about the William Shatner thing?

  • Emily

    Fish. I mean, cuz you make “the jobs” sound like “the docks”, “the factories”, the “coffee shops” (where I am now – thank god Starbucks has wireless), “the jobs” just sounds so generic and monolithic. I want to sign-up. Is it like the cheese-line?

  • Fish- oh yes, he knows. He’s got this whole Richard Dean Anderson obsession so it’s ok.

  • worst “earworm”

    Walkin ON Walkin ON

  • *Back that Shat up for my ese AmandaB*

    chicka-neer-neer, BOOM-chicka-bow-wow…. … BOOM-chicka-bow-wow….

    hmmm do you think this is anything like his climax face?

  • Amanda B: Well gee, I mean, MacGyver, like, come on. Duh.

    Emily: it figures that the most monolithic thing I say today would be a typo: “the jobs” should be “THEIR jobs”. If you feel jilted, read Slauhgterhouse Five.

  • Again with the typos.

    Sheryl: PLEASE remind me to clear my cache before I leave work today.

  • Carol

    Shatners Climax Face..LMAO!

  • Sheryl- only in my dreams…sigh

    Fish- yep that’s what hubby says. I actually caught him watching MacGyver at 7am one morning before work. It was a long awkward moment…

  • Wow, he’s almost as hot as my husband. You guys would make beautiful babies.

    Oh wait …you already did. My bad.

  • Brad

    Love the site! But I do have one question… How in the heck does everyone get here and comment within minutes of your post? I realize that this probably makes me look like an idiot, and I suspect it has something to do with RSS, but could someone please explain? Thanks.

  • Amanda B – Shat’s “O face” shirt should have killed your crush.

    Fish – I finished Slaughterhouse Five three days ago.

    Sheryl – you make me giggle.

    Girl.A – I still love you.

    Ok, back to painting the damn kitchen.

  • DOoce,

    Wil chuck be dressed as Santa Chuck for the holidays? Just curious if you dress him up for anything other than Halloween. It’s another form of torture…why not?

  • “I was told that I could listen to the radio at a reasonable volume from nine to eleven, I told Bill that if Sandra is going to listen to her headphones while she’s filing then I should be able to listen to the radio while I’m collating so I don’t see why I should have to turn down the radio because I enjoy listening at a reasonable volume from nine to eleven.”

  • If we get caught, we’re not going to white-collar resort prison. No, no, no. We’re going to federal POUND ME IN THE ASS prison.

  • Carol

    Ha!! I’m just about to watch that movie for the very first time…

  • “Doesn’t it bother you that you have to get up in the morning and you have to put on a bunch of pieces of flair?”

    Carol…you will LOVE this movie.

  • excuse me, could I have my stapler, please?

Heather B. Armstrong

Hi. I’m Heather B. Armstrong, and this used to be called mommy blogging. But then they started calling it Influencer Marketing: hashtag ad, hashtag sponsored, hashtag you know you want me to slap your product on my kid and exploit her for millions and millions of dollars. That’s how this shit works. Now? Well… sit back, buckle up, and enjoy the ride.

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