An unfiltered fire hose of flaming condemnation

Another futile attempt to adorn the child in headwear

  • Colleen from NJ

    Dr. Fever, you crack me up!

    And Brian, slow day for us. But welcome to Dooceland… you’ll be addicted within a week.

  • christine

    WHERE did you find the sweater?? I love it!

  • Ali

    I want a hat like that. Leta should BE so lucky as to have such a cool hat.

    Then again, I’ve never met a baby who actually liked wearing hats.

  • That hat is so cute but I think she’s going to be needing a Santa hat soon.

  • Leta: “Get It Off Me!” “You Have 2 Seconds Before Screaming Commences!”

  • brian from nj

    hey colleen! looks like i beat you here. Leta looks adorable in her hat today, how long did it stay on??

  • Okay, so we have so many ways Heather can make money:

    1. Making T-shirts
    (and I like the shirt idea, “Leta the screaming commence!”)
    2. Ebay store for everything found on Dooce…and use the idea, “As seen on Dooce”
    3. Pimping out George! for personal appearances.
    4. Getting some kick down from Nikon for every D70 sold because of cool pictures found here.

    any other idea?

    Oh and I would SO outbid all your asses for that damn pig dry humping the candy cane. JUST so I could say, “I have the only pornographic pig & holiday candy in California”

  • *Gorgeous* shot of Leta. Luminous.

    Becka. You’re right – she does look like Liv Tyler here. I think they both have a slight epicanthal eye fold (which I personally find beautiful). Also there is something similar about the pout.

    Click to see a similar shot of Liv, with the eye fold slightly covering her right eye as Leta’s does in this pic.


    Don’t you just wanna poke those cheeks? Or apply temporary tattoos to them?

  • that is soooo like trying to take pictures of dogs with holiday paraphernalia on their heads–

    they will have NO part of that nonsense

    whoever said once you visit this site you will become addicted…you are spot on!


  • e.

    now that’s what i call an adorable kid in a cute-ass jacket. that hat she’s pullin’ on is pretty snazzy also.

  • It must be the cheeks on that kid that compel people to make things to send to her. I know that’s what made me do it. 😉

    She’s so smooshy!

  • first? oh nevermind, cute pic. Have a great Christmas.

  • Dana

    off topic but CONGRATULATIONS on your mention in today’s NYTimes Mag!!!

  • Sheryl

    P.S. When I was a kid I had a weird tooth enamel issue and many of my baby were pulled. I spent about 3 years with no front teeth in early grade school… and had to go to speech therapy to correct my lisp, which could have been used as an irrigation system for a greenhouse, according to my sweet sweet nana.

    Speech therapy consisted of reading tongue-twisters and nursery rhymes and songs with lots of ssssses in them. At 5, I refused to say “Sister Suzie sitting on a thistle” because my sister’s name was NOT SUZIE and it would hurt my sister’s bottom to sit on a thistle anyway. Instead, I told my speech therapist I would say “Suzie’s sister is sitting on a thistle”, and she should count her blessings because there were 2 more “s” sounds in my version, and wouldn’t it be quite a nice feather in her cap if I got better that much faster?

    *And did she know that no one can sell sea shells by the sea shore since you can just go pick them up off the ground??*

    That first speech therapist quit after about a month. Just another reason my current _psychological therapist_ tells me I was an Oppositional Child.

    P.P.S. I have never told you how cool I think it is that you use so many lyric fragments as picture titles.

  • She has the glare of a future supermodel.

    Oh, and my cat also takes her toy mice, stuffs them under the couch and spends hours trying to retrieve them. I figure it’s a way to keep her occupied.

  • zeenes

    I love that hat!! if Leta doesn’t want it, I’ll take it. hehe.

  • Leta’s hat is so cute. Why doesn’t she want it? It’s cold outside, but cause and effect understanding hasn’t happened yet. Babies have so much to get the hang of.

    A shameless plug here–a friend gave me some surprise publicity on her ‘blog. Would ya go visit?
    I think it should work if you click on my name up there. Thanks, All.

  • Liz

    OK, I am way late but could she be cuter? Love it.

  • I really admire the colours you choose for Leta to wear and her/your style.

  • mrs. george #2

    I am going to eat those cheeks for lunch! My god, they’re actually DROOPY! If I ever see Leta I will be forced to speak baby talk and otherwise make a complete fool of myself. I am powerless against the cuteness.

  • She looks as if she’s packing food in those cheeks for winter time, just like a squirrel. Cute, though she doesn’t seem to be enjoying the hat.

  • Put a hat on our daughter when she was that age and the result was like something out of the Crocodile Hunter. She would wrestle that thing off her head in no time flat. My wife however was determined to get her to wear them even if it meant breaking her little spirit. Eventually she acomplished one with out the other.

  • Those damn cheeks. They are so freakin cute!

  • my daughter is 17 months old and is just beginning to tolerate hats. prior to the past few days she would lose her mind if a hat even came into a room where she happened to be. ahhhhhhh, she would yell, a haaaaaaaaaat. it was disturbing.

  • jenny in tex


    please, for the health of my relationship, i beg of you (and so does my boyfriend of four years), stop posting achingly cute photos of your offspring!

    other than my plea, i want to wish your family happy holidays and a wonderful new year!


  • George Lover

    Doesn’t it look like Leta is tipping her hat and saying “Top o’ the mornin’ to ye”

    Cute Cute Cute

  • victoria

    Here is the weirdness of the internet at work:

    after reading dooce’s journal every day obsessively, checking for updates every hour on the hour,

    I’ve developed this fantasy that I know her and have acquired opinions.

    Yeah, I know, that makes me an obnoxious freak. I was actually one of the persons (well, I hope I wasn’t the only one)who emailed advice on how to assuage Chuck’s separation anxiety so he’d stop cheing. Sorry about that.

    But, anyway. I was looking back thru some of the old pics of Heather & her family. And, really, the pics of her with blonde hair are just breathtaking. I mean, she’s so gorgeous she could wear green afro dreadlocks & still be beautiful. She’s certainly beautiful with the nice, subtle brunette thing she’s got going on. But the photos with the blonde hair are almost painfully beautiful.

    So . . . it’s not like anyone asked my opinion, or anything, but, Heather? The next time you think about coloring your hair? I’m casting a vote for that “dark eyebrows – flaxen hair” Sharon Stone/Tea Leoni look you had going on.

    Now I return to other time honored ways of making friends, like correcting people’s grammar and telling them they need to improve their posture.

  • I had to visit your blog after I was watching the biggest light show (Christmas) in Utah by Marty…called Christmas Utah. How nutso is this guy!!? LOL

  • Gia on Guam

    Sheryl: I was certain I knew exactly what you were talking about when you said epicantic fold…but I googled it anyway. Being asian/oriental/chinese, yes, I have “the fold”.
    I have to say not only do I enjoy this site on it’s own, but all the other links, ideas & comments that ensue make it all the more enjoyable. Thanks everyone!

  • I try not to get to mushy, but good GOD that’s a cute picture.

  • I bet she’s the most high-fashion baby in Utah. Maybe even in the U.S.

  • tickled

    Uh, let’s see if I have this straight: She doesn’t like pressure at either end, head OR feet?

    Aren’t you glad she has a middle, so you won’t get arrested for having a Nekkid Bay-Bee out in public?

  • Oh Heather, I’m right there with you on the two front teeth. My 10 month old has been putting us all through teething hell the last week or so and I’m so ready for those buggers to be here.
    He also refuses to wear hats and our Christmas card pictures were a totally entertaining endeavor.

  • I thought the hat gave her more of a Scottish look than Irish. Same general vicinity.

  • Mrs. Coleman

    We have that stroller too — it rocks! Great for our Portland weather. And you should be getting some sort of payback for all of the inadvertant advertising. I’m sure someone up there has said that…
    Beautiful, as usual!

  • Oh boy Dooce. The TP police are gonna be on the case soon.

    I ate silly putty when I was 2. So just relax people…I turned out fine. *twitch* *twitch*

    Ach…same general vicinity, eh? Hrmph. “If it’s not Scottish…It’s Crap!”

  • Lisa

    Gotta love, the toilet paper and all it’s nutrional benefits for the diet!
    lol, my lame attempt at a joke.

  • I’ve seen the other photos, but I’ve never seen her eyes so green. Beautiful.

  • Would anyone be opposed to calling me their Hump Daddy? Just wondering.

  • Dipali

    I just might be the last one today !

  • Pretty steamy stuff on blurbomat: Dooce is about to get her urls de-crufted!

  • Reveur

    (My first comment here, although I have been reading this site for ages)

    Anyway, about two years ago, I had a motor accident, where I lost my front teeth. And yea, I was singing the song through Christmas too! 🙂

    I absolutely LOVE your family. Keep it going, Heather.

  • Amanda B–

    Woman! Pants! Nooowww!

  • Thank you, Sheryl, for the whole explanation of “Sister Suzie sitting on a thistle” because it had gone right over my head. Now it is securely resting under my bottom.

Heather B. Armstrong

Hi. I’m Heather B. Armstrong, and this used to be called mommy blogging. But then they started calling it Influencer Marketing: hashtag ad, hashtag sponsored, hashtag you know you want me to slap your product on my kid and exploit her for millions and millions of dollars. That’s how this shit works. Now? Well… sit back, buckle up, and enjoy the ride.

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