An unfiltered fire hose of flaming condemnation


  • Mir

    Just wanted to point out that one of the Google ads says:
    Are You Clean Inside?
    “Death begins in the colon.” Why is colon cleansing so vital?

    I hope a future Dooce banner will proclaim that death begins in the colon. 😉

  • Um, is it just me or is his ass on fire???

  • Hey, today is de-lurking day! That means anyone lurking (reading) a site should comment, so all you lurkers out there say hello!

  • I feel it hot hot hot!!

  • That’s a great photo. The vibrancy of the colors alone causes thoughts of gut-wrenching pain and hours on the toilet trembling from exhaustion.

  • Michelle

    So proud of y’all to resist all the first talk – it’s a refreshing change. As a lurker, I guess i shouldn’t complain, but JEEZ LOUISE – it’s as painfully annoying as a ring sting. And as to the photo – killer composition and do you endorse this one personally? joining the likes of Cypress Hill, House of Pain, Luke Skywalker?? not Mark What’s His Name – oh, I get it now…

  • My guts are boiling just looking at that picture. Yum.

  • Personally, my ass hurt a LOT more looking at the Zingbah. But that’s just my ass. Ring aZING-ZING.

    It kinda throbs a little thnking about death by intestinal molting. As in the Killer Red Lizard and His Jalapeno Hammer

  • KellyH

    I’ve had killer Mexican food, in Mexico. No es bueno, amiga.

    When in Zihuatanejo, do NOT eat in any restaurants on the bay!

  • She is taunting us with the 80’s words now.

    I will resist.

  • if that won’t cure constipation, nothing will.

  • Ohhhh killer mexican food – that is just too cool.

    Heather, do you mind if I plug my tiny little tsunami blogaid effort? I’m selling prints and donating the proceeds…

    I’m not expecting a huge response but it sucks to feel helpless and every little bit helps, right?

  • Ahhhh, sweet Montezumas(sp?) Revenge.

    Eating Mexican food certainly does invoke the Incan God of Colon Blow, Techyoumapoopsa. He was a harsh god and those devoted to his service were most assuredly celebate. The villagers quickly tired of him and his steaming sacrifices and he was replaced with Zumaspankame, the god of fun time spanking.

  • never mind the bowel thing – I’ve got heartburn first!

  • my ass is on fire just reading that!! You support in relief efforts warms my heart heather. Thank you for posting blog aid I will be signing up to help support!

  • Scott –
    I got visited by “Techyoumapoopsa” on my damn honeymoon. Yes, I spent about three days being “assuredly celebate.”

  • Someone asked yesterday about the google-ads on dooce. Does just clicking them and going to the site make money or is it more complicated than that?
    I never saw an answer…and I am clueless (You all already knew that though)

  • Scott,
    you don’t have to be celebate!

    “Eproctophilia —”Beans! Beans! The magical fruit! The more you eat, the more you…” This person is horny whenever farting is involved. An ideal date might begin at Taco Bell, or perhaps with cabbage, beans, and a Farrelly Brothers movie.”

  • Kimi

    Isn’t there a “I’m on a Mexican radio” song that says something about iguanas?


  • Kristine – just click on the links, that’s it.

  • I read the ad’s by google thing.
    All you have to do is click on the ads that we find so funny. Just click and then your done. You’ve done your part.


  • Girl A – I bet there are a lot of German video makers that suffer from that. Alas, I’ll always be celebate thanks to that goldfish accident back in 92′. Who would have though Koi could be so viscious?

  • Metro- Thanks 🙂 I actually read something other than a blog for a few minutes and got the info.

    See there is hope for me yet 😉

  • Oh Man. Having eaten bad Mexican food in the past I would never go near this place. El agua no es purificado.

    When I looked a the thumbnail I thought for a minute that it was another Zing Zing Zingbah picture and I actually had an involuntary hesitation to clicking on it.

    Good morning Dooce!

  • By the way Scott, you DID spell “Montezuma” correctly. But don’t worry… when you have it, you don’t really give a shit how to spell it.

  • Yum! Sounds good to me.

  • The lovely JulieT – Actually you give a lot of shit, but not about spelling. What a way to start the day. Doo doo talk.

    Something tells me Fish, Metro and Girl A can turn this mutha out even more too. I really don’t want to end up sucking my thumb curled in the fetal position again.

  • LT

    Would you please pass the jelly?

  • *looking up from his list of dirty red iguana jokes*

    Wha? Oh, Scott, I’ll be with you in a minute.

  • George Lover

    Just clicked on one of the Google ads and found out that Elvis had a toxic colon. who knew?

  • Eliza

    I LOVE the Red Iguana but refuse to eat there after dark … the parking lot is too scary for little me. Seriously, I may have to go there for lunch today, just for the salsa. Yummy!

  • Jalapeno Jelly?
    Why, here you go, LT.

    Sorry to be a smart ass.

  • Hey, I’m all for clicking on the ads to help support BlogAid…and for clicking on them at other times, just to help support the Blurbodoocery. But I think, maybe, I should start clicking with eyes wide shut. I just don’t think I’ll be able to burn the words “impacted fecal matter” from my memory any time soon.

  • Mexican food is the best. Well, Tex-Mex is anyway.

    I find all the comments on rushing to the bathroom everytime right after eating Mexican food rather funny. Maybe all you northerners just aren’t built for it. 😉

  • Do not provoke my Girl A. She will *google* it, and you do not want to go there. Well maybe you do, but ohhhhh I don’t.

    I love the “thinking” entry for today. The best is when you call your pharmacy for a refill, and they say “which one” and you’re like…well, could you go over the menu for me?”

  • Wow…if Dooce, Oingo Boingo, X and House of Pain frequent this place…you know it has to be good. I’m so there!

  • I’m just confused as to what the hell would happen to your iguana to make it red? I can see killer mexican food giving you red ring, but a red iguana, too?

  • speeling!? wee dohn’t need no steeenking speeling!


  • I wonder if that dude at the pharmacy reads this site. What a dick. Perhaps they don’t teach “sensitivity” in pharmacy school!

  • So does the iguana look oddly sensual to ANYONE else?

  • I just realized that Leta and I are born on the same day!! Yay! I’ve only ever met 2 other Feb 3rd babies in my life. Well, Leta, You were born on a wonderful day under a great sign and I know you will give your mommy lots of joy! Happy 11 months!

  • As my Nana never said:
    If it burns going in, it’ll burn coming out!

    And to answer Kerry’s non-rhetorical question: It’s not Mexican food so much as the Mexican beans that get to me!


    I like the picture!! I can’t handle mexican food, or anything really spicy….just can’t do it. Bravo to those of you who can.

  • I’m normally just a lurker on this and Jon’s site and I keep wanting to post a comment but I can never come up with anything witty enough. Today I thought I had it. I was going to mention the colon cleansing ad and how interesting it is that it’s under a picture of the best way to cleanse your colon that I’ve heard of. But, a bunch of people beat me too it. Oh well. Maybe next time.

    By the way, I love the site and Leta is absolutely perfect. Anyone who says so is just jealous. :p

  • Valerie

    Is it coincidence that it is Mexican Killer food and the Google ad is for colon cleansing?

  • Didn’t Elvis die on the shitter while eating a foot long sub?

    My baby is 3 feet away taking a crao right now, it STINKS! I wonder how clean her colon is.

    So I click on the ad, I wish I hadn’t clicked to enlarge. But the testimony these women give, with thier photos no less, is GROSS!

    “Lori” is all like yeah I gave birth to these eggs and squid things out my ass. Who knew. WTF!!!!

  • … or does Boobah come foraged from the fires of this hell?

  • Is Red Iguana in Utah?

    Looks HOT.

  • Ok I totally want some chinese food now. I made some slammin’ ass quesadillas last night.

  • Ok I clicked the other ad…..How big is my colon that it has 20 pounds of shit in it that needs to be liquified and flushed? I am only 26….does that mean I have a mere 5 lbs of compacted feces?? I am so never clicking again until tomorrow.

Heather B. Armstrong

Hi. I’m Heather B. Armstrong, and this used to be called mommy blogging. But then they started calling it Influencer Marketing: hashtag ad, hashtag sponsored, hashtag you know you want me to slap your product on my kid and exploit her for millions and millions of dollars. That’s how this shit works. Now? Well… sit back, buckle up, and enjoy the ride.

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