the smell of my desperation has become a stench

I know you’re not going to believe this, but neither one of us is stoned

  • sam

    2005/01/08 at 8:16 am

    But wait. .. .isn’t that. . …the same thing?

  • DM

    2005/01/08 at 8:18 am

    I love this pic. It reminds me of how crazy I get with my best friends, Beth and Keem, and there’s never any drugs or alcohol involved, just the sheer giddiness of being with friends and loving life.

    Everyone needs friends like this. Have a great weekend.

  • krissy pants

    2005/01/08 at 8:21 am

    Human beings were not meant to sit in little cubicles staring at computer screens all day, filling out useless forms and listening to eight different bosses drone on about about mission statements.

  • Jess from B-lo

    2005/01/08 at 8:22 am

    I love my friends that can make me laugh like that. They are something to treasure.

  • Stephanie

    2005/01/08 at 8:25 am

    Great pic! You are smiling once again.

  • sweetney

    2005/01/08 at 8:27 am

    wasn’t there a song called “pass the dooce” that was a thinly veiled doobage-smoking anthem (sung by children, no less)?

    oh wait, that would be “pass the dutchie.” nevermind.

  • the other Paula

    2005/01/08 at 8:30 am

    I love that pic. It sooo reminds me of all the times my best friend and I share our “I guess its just us that gets the joke” laugh.

  • Wicked H

    2005/01/08 at 8:30 am

    Good friends, lots of laughs, good times!!

    Don’t need a reason, happy just because. Good for you Dooce!

  • sam

    2005/01/08 at 8:37 am

    krissy – Sounds like “Office Space”. You’re not particularly fond of your stapler are you? I know I am!

  • JulieT

    2005/01/08 at 8:41 am

    Sam, I’m telling you… It wouldn’t surprise me if people get dooced by proxy for spending so much company time on this site.

  • Amy

    2005/01/08 at 8:42 am

    O.K., just what have you two done to the crazy privacy-needing neighbours and the ivy league plagiarist jerk??!

  • e

    2005/01/08 at 8:47 am

    makes me wish even more that I had a good friend who lived closer than 3 hours away 🙁

  • yo mama

    2005/01/08 at 8:54 am

    Beth is really beautiful. Who took the picture?

  • sarcastic journalist

    2005/01/08 at 9:19 am


  • Shiz

    2005/01/08 at 9:30 am

    I ALWAYS take drunk-looking pictures! I get endlessly teased.

  • Wayne

    2005/01/08 at 9:34 am

    Haha! I believe it, but the resemblence to an actuall stoner is shocking. One of my roommates came back from a “joint function” birthday party for him and his friend and came back looking just like Beth does in this picture.

  • Dooced

    2005/01/08 at 9:50 am

    And some people might get Dooced by Proxy Bitching

    for their consistent crotch-itty judgmental biddy-ass sniping

  • TheresainDelaware

    2005/01/08 at 9:52 am

    I saw a comment earlier by “Dale.” It’s so funny, because I had a Dooce dream a couple of nights ago. We were spending the weekend at their house, and boy what a beautiful house it was. Fancy antique hardware and all. I told my husband about it and he thought I was crazy!

  • Charmaine

    2005/01/08 at 9:57 am

    It’s nice to see people really having fun! Love the huge smiles.

  • asslover

    2005/01/08 at 10:07 am

    What is up with that woman’s gap between her two front teeth? Is she from Tennessee too?

  • Girl.A

    2005/01/08 at 10:13 am

    Rollin’ with my homies (‘said we yak all night, yeah)
    ‘Said we yak all night (I got us on the way in the CBT, and it’s alright)

    Pumpin’ up the keg and roll it in a paper
    It’s like a match, you light it up and pass it to your neighbour
    Night time is the right time… a-DYNAMITE!!

  • Girl.A

    2005/01/08 at 10:14 am

    asslover, is that you, Jesus?

  • Fran

    2005/01/08 at 10:19 am

    And you two aren’t even in your respective bathrooms while having that kind of camraderie.

    It’s just beautiful. sniff, sniff.

    Everbody sing: Friendship, friendship. Just the perfect blendship.

  • different kim

    2005/01/08 at 10:31 am

    you got a joint man? it’d be a lot cooler if you did.

  • Jeff

    2005/01/08 at 10:37 am

    Nice Teeth!!!

  • andrea

    2005/01/08 at 10:42 am

    Makes me miss my best friend! I wish she wasn’t 1.5 hours away and living with the biggest asshole in the world.

  • Not BETH, just Beth

    2005/01/08 at 10:56 am

    Asslover, I’m afraid you’ve done it. You’ve dissed a fellow Beth and now I must curse you with the following:

    1. Severe Halitosis
    2. Constipation from Monday – Friday, and Saturdays and Sundays spent emptying your bowels.
    3. Nagging, uncontrollable flatulence.

    The next time somebody offers you a piece of gum, or you can’t poop – you think of me. Wonder if it’s because of me, and because you were rude. Maybe then you’ll think before you say something retarded.

  • Amanda B.

    2005/01/08 at 10:58 am

    If you are Jesus, could you throw me a frickin bone here? Mandy needs a new set of wheels.

  • Girl.A

    2005/01/08 at 11:03 am

    Not that I have ANY problem with Beth’s teeth at all. Lauren Hutton is hot. Some people think Madonna is hot.

    asslover just sounded like a guy I know named Jesus.

  • SEK

    2005/01/08 at 11:14 am

    Riiiiiiight. Such happy people.

  • Cheryl

    2005/01/08 at 11:15 am

    Heather– I am just so happy to see you so happy. Have a great day!

  • Mrs.Strizzay

    2005/01/08 at 11:28 am

    Shiny happy people holding hands.

  • Mari

    2005/01/08 at 11:38 am

    Well, you might not be high… but we are… we are high off of Dooce!
    I fill my morning bowl full of Dooce leaves daily!

  • MollieBee

    2005/01/08 at 11:39 am

    Dooce, you have the cutest little ears! Are you sure you are not of the elven persuasion?

  • Wayne

    2005/01/08 at 11:40 am

    Wow! I didn’t realize that the daily picture’s comments were actually numbered in the mozilla firefox browser. Heh, that’s cool.

  • coskel

    2005/01/08 at 11:50 am

    krissy pants said at 10:21AM, 01.08.2005:
    Human beings were not meant to sit in little cubicles staring at computer screens all day, filling out useless forms and listening to eight different bosses drone on about about mission statements.

    LOL – Tell that to the Big THREE automotive. Coskel in is the Motor City.

  • Kristine

    2005/01/08 at 1:14 pm

    I have two friends like BETH!

    (don’tcha love the way Dooce’s friends and family become caps?)

    Outside of my mom and sister they are the only two people that can get me to laugh that hard.

    Everyone should have a friend like BETH!

  • Dara

    2005/01/08 at 1:17 pm

    whoa! you guys look so cute! lol

  • becaru

    2005/01/08 at 1:31 pm

    Dooce!!Is there a story on your website somewhere about how you and Beth met?

  • becky

    2005/01/08 at 1:33 pm

    stoned? no. but i bet there was tequila involved.

  • Mary in Sacramento

    2005/01/08 at 1:35 pm

    Dooce: “And then I made them all say “Ruff!” in honor of Chuck Fridays.”
    BETH!: “Hahahaha!”
    Dooce: “But the best part is people got all bitchy about it and my Comments Section Mafia threwdown and stomped their asses.”
    BETH!: “You’ve got the best comments section mafia ever.”
    Dooce: “I know! Remember what they did to that plagiarist bitch.”
    BETH: “Yeah, she goes to the best Ivy League School…. of FRANCE!!!”
    DooceandBETH!: Hahahahahahahaha!

    Good to see you laffin, Heather. I’m doing an interperetive dance / Sign Language Rendition of “That’s What Friends Are For” especially for you and BETH!

    PS, may I re-iterate my “RUFF!” from yesterday.

  • ella's ma

    2005/01/08 at 1:49 pm

    My best girl friend and I laugh like that. It’s the best feeling. We are never stoned, just slightly impared by a bottle or two of red wine. (that’s her)

  • George Lover

    2005/01/08 at 2:49 pm

    Great, great photo!

  • asslover

    2005/01/08 at 4:24 pm

    To “just Beth”

    I mentioned a problem of BETH’s that is correctable whereas your lack of humor isn’t.

  • gerrybuick

    2005/01/08 at 4:44 pm

    I know you’re not going to believe this, but my first thought was: neither is or neither are? Lets see: Both of us are; one of us is…? Neither, hummm singular or plural

    ha ha nice picture, both of you is happy, i likes dat.

  • Jena

    2005/01/08 at 5:27 pm

    gerrybuick: the word “neither” is singular, as is “either”. Neither refering to “neither one” — singling out those involved as individuals, rather than as a group.

  • megan

    2005/01/08 at 5:40 pm

    But both of you are happy! Oh Joy!

  • DG

    2005/01/08 at 5:55 pm

    Sometimes, when I visit, I fight the urge to LICK my screen.

    Yes, despite all the Poop-Talk, THAT’S how tasty I find HERE to be.

  • RandyRambunctious

    2005/01/08 at 6:06 pm

    Mary in Sacramento – Hilarious!
    Hmm…was it really like that though me wonders….

  • Harry

    2005/01/08 at 6:36 pm

    g’day…well, at least both of you seem to be having a good time!

Heather B. Armstrong

Hi. I’m Heather B. Armstrong, and this used to be called mommy blogging. But then they started calling it Influencer Marketing: hashtag ad, hashtag sponsored, hashtag you know you want me to slap your product on my kid and exploit her for millions and millions of dollars. That’s how this shit works. Now? Well… sit back, buckle up, and enjoy the ride.

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