An unfiltered fire hose of flaming condemnation

His ego writing checks his body can’t cash

  • victoria

    It’s not the size of the dog in the fight . . .

  • Chico’s mom

    Chuck, I worship at thine altar-

  • And they call in puppy luuuuv

  • U.B.

    Despite the Vulcan psycho-eyed mind trick that Chuck is attempting, it looks like he’s about to get bitch-slapped. Possibly by an actual bitch.

  • Margi says…

    v n.,m b jhgb ,km `n mnb `mn ““““““““““““““““““““““““““““““““““““““““b qb q6jn mmn sjn

  • hp

    By the way GOD, thanks for the hemerroid.

  • shy

    Stinger: “Maverick, you just did and incredibly brave thing. What you should have done was land your plane! you don’t own that plane, the tax payers do! Son, your ego is writing checks your body can’t cash. You’ve been busted, you’ve lost your qualifications as section leader three times, put in hack twice by me, with a history of high speed passes over five air control towers, and one admiral’s daughter!”

    Goose: “Penny Benjamin?”

    [Maverick shrugs]

    i love top guns. 80’s cheese at it’s best!

  • Moss rocks.


    No really. Mouse, you crack me up.

  • Is Chuck ever going to get any action? Does he have a companion, lady-friend? Maybe he just needs to get some lovin’.

  • GWB (40). I just figured out who the “Merkin people” are. HILARIOUS!

  • Chuck looks so small in this pic. Is that an Irish Wolfhound puppy?

    Chuck better look out – if his ‘buddy’ has even a little wolfhound in him, Chuck could be squished like a bug in a couple of months. It would probably be an accident; wolfhounds aren’t haters.

    GOD – I’m not a particulary religious person, but I SO look forward to your visits every day.

  • cat

    God speaks “dawg”! Awesome.

  • moose

    of course GOD speak dawg. I’m sure GOD speak catt also.


  • Hello. God is in a meeting at the moment, but will be with you asap. Please enjoy the smiting of the day while you wait. Thankyou.

  • cat

    Oh ho ho… God is snarky!
    God, please smite Lindsay Lohan next. Please? Or Paris Hilton. Whatev.

  • kim

    former congressman: “i did not have sexual relations with that bitch….”

  • Pft! My dog does that, too. She finds the biggest dog at the park and gets all bristly and growls at it. This usually ends with me pulling her off a raging rumble of fur and fangs, and her having a bloody nose. Always the nose. And I say “you are sooo STUPID! STUPID!” and she looks at me like “what? biscuit?”

  • Ah, kim, that be fuuuunny.

  • Go Chuck Go!

  • Chuck’s bringin’ it, isn’t he?

  • Sir Chucks-alot kinda looks like he quiere una Chalupa in that picture.

  • Chuck can totally take that ugly dog!

  • Liz

    Go Chuck! Even a Former Congressman needs to stand up and fight in the park every once in a while.

  • It’s Chuckacabra fighting to be free! He’s torn between kicking ass and dreams of Doritos and Pop Tarts.

  • Enjoying…

    Blueberry poptart for lunch! Whoohoo!

  • mr chuckles!! not even friday yet! lol

    hope he didnt get tooooo beaten up lmao!

  • God (or God’s Secretary, if God is unavailable), I second the motion to smite Paris Hilton and Lindsay Lohan. If you’re feeling especially smitish, you could also smite Tara Reid. I know three is a lot to be smote at once, but since they are essentially one in the same, and because hey, you’re God, you can probably handle that.

    Thanks, God (or God’s secretary), you’re the best.

    Also, please bless Chuck because he is so cute. (And GEORGE! too, while you’re at it.)

  • I think God did smite Tara Reid, when He made her big fat boob pop out at that awards show.

  • Oh, you’re right, Amanda B. I forgot about that. But, hey, God could smite her again. I saw her on TV the other day and she doesn’t look like she’s been sufficiently smote.

  • Chuck Wednesdays AND Chuck Fridays?

  • U.B.

    I’m not sure if Tara hanging 1/2 of her horrific boob job out in a desperate, attention-seeking ploy to be relevant qualifies as a smiting??

    I can’t look at Paris without feeling badly for her family. That old-money gang must be soooo proud. They obviously did a bang-up job of keeping her developmentally grounded…

  • Sick ’em Chuck!

  • If GOD is taking requests, can you please smite Flava Flav for getting all pussified over that schizoid blond amazon woman. Not Dooce.

  • He’s a wild puppy!

    And you better hope the Avon Sales Reader doesnt get a look at the site. Oops is right! She’ll fire you!

  • Amanda B, Tara Reid’s boob popping out was not a smiting to her, that was a blessing to me. (You got to count your blessings somehow.)

  • yeah, they worked hard and built an empire for that money, and basically she’s an airhead who’s not worked a day in her life and has no concept of what the real world is.

    as for chuck–i believe in supporting the ‘underdog.’ (he. he, i’m so damned clever). Chuck can so totally take him.

  • Metro,

    Tara’s nipples are ugly. She has nothing going for her personality wise. Her nips look like they’ve been flat ironed and stretched. Gross.

  • Damn, Melanie, I had blocked the ugly nips part out of my memory. Why’d you have to smite my blessing? Party pooper.

  • Underdog, now that was a great cartoon.

    Although, considering what we know about Dooce, its a bit of a stretch to consider her Polly Pureheart.

  • Have no fear! Underdog is here!

    I dressed up as Underdog for Halloween when I was in second gread.

  • Surprisingly enough I did pass second gread…I mean grade.


    Tara’s nipple is so ugly because the nipple was sew back on crooked. Must have gone to a second rate surgeon for her breast augmentation – and she opted to have the nipples cut off for insertion of the implant as opposed to going through the armpit or bellybutton like Pamela and Brittney.

    Normally only people who have stretched boobs get breast lifts. Tara Reid was an A cup.

    With a breast lift part of what they do is cut off the nipples around the ariola and later sew them back on. And then you pray you have feeling and that they work if you need to breastfeed.

  • “would say that at least 50% of people use fowl language infront of their children. If my son accidentally hears one of us say something like fuck or shit, he knows not to reapeat it”—yesterday’s entry

    Are you kidding me? You think that 50% of good parents curse?! No good parents don’t say those things in front of their children; they use their brains and think of alternative words, or handle their anger better. Good parents realize that there are ways to express oneself that doesn’t need to end with ..a four letter word. I bet you spank your children too, and then when they hit you or a sibling, smack them back one—that’ll teach’em to respect you damn it!

    Some day your child will come to you and say fuck you mommy, and it will be because they lived what they learned. Yes you Heather. Is it that you hated your Mormon youth so much with its constraints that you’ve made sure you’ll do every thing under the sun to deface ole Joseph smith?

    Dear God, if this is what your people actually believe and this is how children are us.

    About her being Andrea Yates, I don’t think it was that harsh of a comparison. Three are pictures of Heather with greasy hair unwashed for days—just like pictures of Andréa and she had 4 kids. Gee no wonder Jon doesn’t hit ya up for some, you’d be stinky—who wants to go muff diving on someone who hasn’t bathed in a week?

  • Cristin

    What happened to you, Dean, that made you so hateful and mean?

  • Dean,

    Did you really just compare Dooce to a murderess?

  • Dean,

    Dude, check it out–President Bush is an alien!

    I read it on the internet so it must be the exact truth. Right?

  • Carol

    Dean, you’re hilarious. ‘Cause…. that’s all a joke, right?

  • BJT

    What a great photo, I love watching dogs roughhousing it.

    Dean – isn’t that comment just…mean?

  • The other Paula

    Cute doggies, Chuck looks like he’s having a blast.

    As for Dean, I think ignoring him is the best thing to do.

  • La Pixiatrix

    That was some crazy shite, Dean.

    Can we just start ignoring the comments that are meant just to rile people up?

Heather B. Armstrong

Hi. I’m Heather B. Armstrong, and this used to be called mommy blogging. But then they started calling it Influencer Marketing: hashtag ad, hashtag sponsored, hashtag you know you want me to slap your product on my kid and exploit her for millions and millions of dollars. That’s how this shit works. Now? Well… sit back, buckle up, and enjoy the ride.

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